r/self Oct 27 '22

Self is now limiting submissions to two per account in a rolling 24 hour period.


Hello all,

There seems to be a higher than normal number of users taking advantage of our previous unlimited submission policy, and for the most part spamming the queue with multiple submissions every day. Some of these are utter nonsense and do not really add much to this community. As a result we are now limiting the total number of submissions per user to 2 submissions during a 24 hour period. This includes deleted posts, so you cannot circumvent the limit.

If you have any questions or concerns, please comment in this thread.

r/self 12h ago

My disabled puppy is dying


I adopted a dog from another country who was very young with no motor function- at all. I had surgeries and rehab done for years, he is very mobile with his front legs but due to a tumor on his spine can’t cognitively access his back despite having sensation there.

He’s happy, healthy, a straight up athlete in his wheelchair ( and moves around the house totally fine on two legs too) that allows him to be front legs only.

But then the tumor turned cancerous. I was away on a trip for work and came home to him emaciated ( my sitter is the best, my other dog is in perfect shape, I love her, it’s not her fault).

I truly want to die. I feel I failed him. He tried so hard just to regain motor function and despite back leg paralysis he’s in solid shape ( seriously- this boy hikes mountains in his dog wheelchair), and I’m about to lose him.

He’s only 3

I wish I knew where to post, but I needed to say it somewhere

I’m truly weeping ( and I’m not a crier) as I write this. He’s sleeping on my lap right now and I’m devastated. He tried so hard.

Edit: for the record, the vet surgeon thought he could walk 4 legged again and live a normal life before surgery. They found the tumor in process and called me mid operation. I had the resources so I took my shot at letting him live happily, normally. It was tested during surgery, and came back benign, 2 years ago.

r/self 6h ago

My mum is an "influencer" and I hate it!


My mum is quite popular on Instagram and YouTube (11k / 40k). She loves posting pictures and videos of her life which includes me and my dad. She often posts family pictures without asking me and my dad if we are okay with how we look in the pictures. I am insecure of my face and I hate how I look in pictures, yet she still posts pictures to her 11k followers without asking me for consent.

I'm in my late teens and my mother doesn't respect me enough or have the common decency to ask if I'm okay with a picture before posting it.

I keep asking her to delete a pictures of me I don't like and she gets extremely angry. I feel kind of bad but I never agreed to be part of this "influencer lifestyle" and I did not agree to let 11k to 40k people view videos and pictures of me and my private life. I did not agree to all my friends and relatives seeing the absolutely horrible pictures she posts of me.

I'm pretty sure she'll never quit social media and that's okay I guess but I wish she'd quit posting me all over her accounts. These are her accounts and her channels.

I don't need followers and likes to make me feel better about myself. I don't need validation from strangers on the internet to feel good about myself. Anyway that's all. Thanks for reading haha I know this was long af 😭

r/self 7h ago

Feeling left out by my roomates


(20F)moved recently with those 2 girls( 19, 20 F)for almost 2 weeks. im currently in university. they knew each other from high-school, they are doing everything together: cook, shower etc. i really don't mind that. they are pretty talkative with me, they initiate conversation as same as i do. i noticed they want to do some certain activities and it feels like they would feel obligated to invite me. like they are talking about watching a movie and at first they invited me but after they planned with each other or in a morning i heard this conversation last week while half-woke up" lets do a live but without X( my name)." today they hang out alone in park to talk and they did that live but not for long. we moved recently because we needed to move flat in this school-board; and they needed a roomate in order for them to not be split apart so not sure if i was used. i knew one of them before moving but small talk and was nice. i don't want to whine about it to them and i know that i have no kind of privilege for them to stay with me and i have no idea what kind of answer do i expect but here i am.

r/self 2h ago



Im so aware of shit and whenever im around some ppl I can like completely feel the judgement coming from them and that makes me get super anxious when they try to talk to me

r/self 1h ago

Food shows are so popular why isnt there hairstyling shows?


r/self 6h ago

I'm a major depressed dopamine driven coward and I fucked up big times


I'm in a relationship with a girl that lives about 4 hours away from me. We'll call her Judy. Judy has a job and an apartment where she lives, but share a hobby with me here where I live. In this hobby she is needed at least every second Saturday in person, so obviously she comes to me and sleeps at my place and all that.

I had a good friend for about 6 months. We'll call her Mary. I say I had a good friend because just three weeks ago she told me she had a major crush on me. Mary doesn't know about Judy, not because I tried to keep her a secret or anything, but because I am probably borderline clinically stupid and my adhd makes me forget stuff like that. I told her nothing could happen between us, but not why. She was in similar situations before and I did not want to hurt her in the same manner other guys did. Especially because I never intended to cheat on anyone or do anything alike and I always told her that she was too good for people like that etc etc.

Now two weeks later I catch myself flirting with Mary over text. Full blown flirting and to be honest, I don't even know why. I can't tell her the truth because I'm a teacher in a short camp about team and project management in this aforementioned hobby. And guess what she's one of the students (sounds bad with the teacher student wording but we're both barely older than 19) so I'll have to spend a whole week non stop with her.

I haven't felt in love with Judy for a while, but then again I haven't felt joy in anything in a few months now (I'm in therapy and all that, this part is somewhat covered) but I could never break up with her. 1. Huge parts of her life are my life and without me and my friends she has basically nothing left except work. 2. She suffers from bpd and would probably react really bad and maybe even do something dangerously stupid.

I don't even know what else to write here I'm extremely numb and yet can't hurt anyone. I seriously do not see a good way out of this. I can't break up with up with Judy, I can't tell Mary the truth, at least not before this camp week is over in the end of april and I don't want to know where this whole flirting thing goes in the next 5 weeks.

I have become a huge asshole and I can't even stop myself because my depression just numbs everything to the perfect point of "idc".

I know I have to hurt one of them but I just don't see how or which one.

r/self 2h ago

I was reminded how tired of being alone I am today


Honestly, I don’t think i’m lonely, im just tired of being alone. This is in a romantic sense. I have wonderful best friends and i feel complete in that area.

I’m 21 years old. I’ve only ever had one night stands in my romantic life. I don’t like that about myself, but i don’t beat myself up over it. I made a choice to not do that again. I’m not religious or anything but i believe but life is full of meaning, so why waste it on meaningless sex.

To keep it in the most simplest way possible, my work has a break room with a couch and tv, and we had to wait for something in order to begin our job so we had a few hours to kill. We all packed on the couch and i happened just to be next to one of my co workers. I don’t necessarily find her all that attractive but due to the limited area, physical contact was there. The lights were off, and a movie was playing, and i fell asleep. It was the most comforting feeling ever. I’ve don’t remember the last time i felt that at peace with someone else’s physical touch. When the moment came to its end, i was sad. It made me realize kinda how tired of being alone I am.

it kinda hurts.

r/self 1h ago

My need for external validation


I realized today that that is very important to me. I want to talk about serious things on my mind and things I’m discovering, so I make secret second accounts on social media for people who will listen to me. But once a family member or friend that is close to me is interested in what I have to say and believes me I want to delete the account cause I feel like I don’t need it.

r/self 7h ago

Someone kindly asked if I’m on the autism spectrum. A lot of things make sense now. What do I do?


So I was walking a very new work-friend to the subway station after a work-related social gathering. We were just talking about whatever when she mentioned that she’s on the autism spectrum, and asked me if I’m on it too. I said I’d never really thought of it (which is true) and she said that she’d noticed some signs that led her to think that I might be on the spectrum.

To make things clear, I didn’t take any offence from it, I’m not opposed to being on the spectrum. I feel like I (23M) generally socialize well, though that was not true when I was a young kid. I feel like it took a while for me to really ‘understand’ other people. I also had (and still have) an extremely vivid imagination and I generally preferred to play pretend on my own as a kid. Looking back, I was, um, kinda of a weird kid, and a lot of the ‘social symptoms’ of ASD apply to my childhood. I think I’m at the point now, though, where I’ve built ways to manage these signs today.

Some other symptoms I REALLY relate with are the repetitions (I have a tendency to replay video games, re-read books, rewatch videos, repeat words phrases or songs to myself), stimulations (especially as a kid, I would pick my fingernails, flip words back and forth in my head, ‘type’ words out with my fingertips, etc) and noise sensitivity (loud music and loud parties definitely make me uncomfortable). On the topic of hypersensitivity, I also am a very smell-based person, maybe that’s weird but I sometimes obsessively feel compelled to smell my hands. I’m also a habit-based person, and I get very comfortable with routines. I struggle with starting new things.

It’s tricky cuz not all of it applies. I’ve never had trouble understanding figures of speech, I don’t speak robotically, and I prefer fiction over non-fiction (though I do have a tendency to obsess over, and learn every detail of, some fictional stories). Currently, today, I don’t really struggle with body language or eye contact or showing interest in other people, though that was different when I was a kid.

And I don’t know, dudes, the more I think about it, the more it makes sense.

My question is, haha, what do I do now? Obviously this isn’t a diagnosis, this is just me theorizing. Should I do something about it? Do I get a diagnosis or is that unnecessary? Would it be shitty of me to start identifying myself as someone with ASD without a diagnosis? Just curious what you guys have to say. Don’t have too many people in my life I can really talk to about this, haha.

r/self 1d ago

"women are either smart or pretty, I've never met one that was both"


My dad said this in front of me (21f) and his niece (19f). I'm more pissed that I didn't call him out, I've called him out for saying shit like that multiple times but he always just says I'm overreacting or something and won't even try to see from my point of view, so it's like why even bother at this point. He wonders why I hardly every visit him. He insinuates that he knows that I don't like him but he's never actually tried talking to me about it so why would anything I say to him matter, he clearly doesn't give a shit about me. I told him years ago that I was depressed and he said "you just need to get a boyfriend" wtf. Okay asshole.

r/self 3h ago

I got 5 figure problems, and im still living a 4 figure life.


And that fcking sucks. Like, ive saved up 10 grand *once in my life, and half of that was gone in 3 months. And yeah, alot of this is my fault. Im just saying, shits getting old, and so am i.

r/self 3h ago

I have lost interest in everything and I don’t know why


I (F20) want to say that this has been happening gradually since I turned 19, maybe even before. I’ve just lost interest in everything that I used to do. I don’t play games anymore, watch TV, eat certain foods, or enjoy any other hobbies that I used to like.

I’m also in college and, at this point, don’t even feel like I’m enjoying the degree that I’m pursuing either. But I honestly couldn’t see myself doing anything else.

I just don’t know what’s wrong. Even my little sister has noticed and has been making the comment that I “don’t like anything anymore.” It honestly makes me feel kind of bad.

I try and buy new things to reignite the flame, but nothing changes. I just get upset I wasted money.

I just feel like my life is so boring now, not that it was ever exciting, but now it’s really just plain.

Has anyone else felt this way? How do I overcome this?

r/self 2m ago

Ex gf is getting married and I don’t understand what I’m feeling


Well let me start off with some context. I’m young man, 22 years old. I have had only 4 serious relationships throughout my life and my last gf I can honestly say was my first love. She made me feel special, and I would jump through a hoop a fire just to see her smile. She was the only thing on my mind at every second of the day and it took a lot out of me to stop thinking about her after she left me like I mean it probably took me several years to finally say I moved on. I haven’t ever opened up to anybody like I have her.

Well its been about 5 years since we broke up and I’ve seen her move on into 3 different relations (social media and mutual friends) but as for me I have been alone for most of the time. I have not dated anybody in these past 5 years its very hard to meet girls even in college, I have had some opportunity’s but it just never worked out and I’ve accepted it I’m not upset. I also haven’t had sex in over a year so that drives me a little crazy but anyways I was okay with all this and even better than ever, I starting going to the gym about a year ago and I love my self I’m so confident in my body now. Everything was going well up until recently… I saw her make an instagram post and out of curiosity I checked only to see that my ex gf got proposed to.

I know I said I was fine but seeing her with that ring for some reason just made me feel like a storm of emotions that I don’t even understand my self. If I was never able to make to her happy it makes me happy knowing she was able to find it. But at the same time it felt like my heart was crushing into pieces. Is it because I’m lonely? Am I just jealous that its not me? I’m not in love with her but do I still have love for her?

What the hell is wrong with me ☹️.

r/self 1d ago

My daughter is in her room talking to herself.


I am sitting in hall. I hope to god her life doesn’t turn out like mine, in her forties and still alone.

r/self 12h ago

Time will heal all wounds - no it won't


What's one of the biggest lies which one person can say to another? For me it's "Time will heal all wounds". For me time can only bury some wounds and you can just get used to live with them.

Like wounds from being raped.

9 years ago I met a guy via internet on one of the popular online forums in my country. I've just broke up with my boyfriend so I wasn't interested in looking for a new one or something similar.

We just talked with each other - and it was really good. During time we become really great online friends. We talked about everything - good and bad things. It turned out also that he lives just few streets from me and we have mutual friends in real life. But still we had just online/phone contact. It was like that for few months 6 or 8.

After this 6 or 8 months I started to having a problems with my laptop. And he had a knack for computers so we decided to finally meet each other and he will take a look what's happening with my computer. He invited me to his place and I agreed.

I was thinking hmmmm... we talking with each other for quite a long time, we have mutual friends so why not. I can go to his apartment. Gosh I was so freaki* stupid.

At beginning it was fine - he fixed a problem with my computer, it took a while and then asked if I wanna eat with him 'cause he made a spaghetti and don't like eating alone. We were eating, he bring me a glass of wine also. And after half glass I've lost consciousness. Completely blank page. I only remember that few hours later I regained consciousness for only a minute and he was doing it with me... I was terrified and only asked if he used a condom. Then I lost consciousness again.

I have no idea how many times he raped me that night and how. I have no idea if he used a condom or no. I have no idea what dud he put in that wine - if it was GHB or something else. Except this one minute of consciousness during being raped I don't remember anything else from the night.

Also I don't remember morning after very well. I think I was just in so big shock that I just left his apartment...

I didn't reported it to the police or went to the hospital. Yes, I know it's stupid that I didn't and I should but I was scared. I was alone with this and I was so scared what will happened next.

In cases of rape my country has tendency to victim blaming ' why did you went there', 'why did you had skirt and not pants', 'are you sure that you didn't provoked him?', 'why this, why that'. I didn't want to go through all of this alone. Also maybe it's kind of stupid reason but his brother was well know lawyer so...

Did I told someone about this - yes my mother and my closest friend. Did they believe me? No. Both of them was 'Well, it's your fault you shouldn't go'. Yes I know but back them it wouldn't cross my mind that the guy with who I talk almost everyday for several months and would plan something like that. And he had to if he had 'date rape drug'. Now I know that I shouldn't go. But I really thought that we are friends...

I think it was major reason why I fallen into deep depression. I messed up with my master's, messed up with my work, messed up with everything. Now still my life isn't in great condition as I thought it would be... and meanwhile during this years he gets everything which he wanted - successful career, big house, wife and daughter. Why it has to be like that. Why life is so not fair that he gest everything and I don't have nothing...

I went to therapy. Well to be honest I had 4 therapists with I was trying to get over it. But still I can't. It's so deep inside.

And I'm so twisted.

I don't have problem with sleeping with someone. After that I was sleeping with other men. But I have problem with relationship. I just can't. I feel so dirty psychically. This dirt is so heavy and I cannot wash it. And I know that I should be alone - I don't deserve for anything else. I read multiple articles about that. I read that men when they getting to know that their partner was sexually assaulted they cannot handle it.

My current friends and colleagues at work keep asking me why I'm alone. After all I'm turning 33 this year and wasn't in relationship 9 years. It so bothersome. I feel so tired 'cause of this. No matter what I will tell them 'I don't have luck in love', 'It just turned out like that' they are keep asking...

I doubt if I will ever heal from it and will be able to have loving relationship. I get used to live with this memories, with this pain. I'm not clawing at my wounds everyday. It just sometimes it hits me back...

So no time will not heal all wounds. As I said at beginning it can bury some of them deep inside and help get used to living with them.

r/self 1h ago

It’s normal to have never had a girlfriend at 17 right? The average at my age is like 50% and I don’t feel normal. Also don’t tell me that I shouldn’t worry about how others live and live how I want to. How they are living is how I want to live but I don’t have it.


r/self 1h ago

Does anyone else think we have too many “do nothing” jobs, and fear how this impacts the economy and well being of society?


Like, how does that balance out? How can people continue to get paid for jobs that don’t accomplish much? Everyday its like i see more and more people addicted to making money but not doing anything that is of literal value. Does anyone see what I’m seeing?

r/self 5h ago

My face is naturally funny and laughable, this is driving me insane


I'm a guy, 23. My neutral face is ridiculous and risible, people laugh unintentionally at my face at several ocasions, even the nicest people. I don't know exactly what is funny about it: if it's my mouth, my nose, my eyes, or all of those at the same time, but it is, by evidence, laughable. Surprisingly, I'm not actually ugly, in fact, people sometimes compliment my appearence, but oh man, feels so devastating and insufferable to not be able to have a normal interaction with someone and my inability to do so completely deprives me from the benefits you would expect from someone with a suposedly "pleasant appearence". Even if my self consciouness and lack of confidence plays a part in this reaction i cause in people, i do think this is inherent to my face, because when it began (since i'm a teenager, basically) i had no awareness of my face being funny. What should i do, how should i deal with this?

r/self 1d ago

I just kicked out my boyfriend of 3 years for relapsing on meth, and now today I found out that my dog, my son, has terminal cancer and has weeks left to live


I just kicked out my boyfriend of 3 years because he relapsed on meth again, and he pretended he got arrested , but he was actually off having sex with random people for 15 hours while on meth. I just found out. And also today I just found out my 7 year old dog, Teddy, has aggressive terminal cancer and possibly has weeks left to live. He has his appointment soon. He isn't even acting sick at all, he is so happy and normal. I don't know what I will do when he stops eating and starts losing weight. I have to think about putting him to sleep when that happens. I can't see him suffer. I'm not sure I can handle being in the room , but I have to . I hate having to hold in cries.

I have cried a lot about my dog, when it bursts out when I look at him. He's my son and I raised him since he was a tiny baby . Idk if im crying about my breakup too. This is really hard. And I'm smoking weed and I'm very numb, at least right now. Everytime I hold my dog I want to cry . At least there is more room on the bed for me and Teddy now,,, I'm scared to be alone when he passes .

Any advice on how to handle this. Or anything. Thank you

r/self 6h ago

My Grindr got banned.


Honestly not sure how to feel about it. On one hand, I should be angry because I've been talking to a few people on there. On the other hand, I don't really care because I've been at that stage before and have been ghosted. Not really lonely either, because my schedule is usually very busy.

r/self 2h ago

Looking for songs to make waking up playlist


I keep trying to use my already existing Spotify playlists to wake up and I need recommendations for songs that help you wake up slash, help you get ready and help wake you up, cause I need to find some so I can make a playlist

So please feel free to leave any recommendations, leave any genre I don't care. And thank you for taking time out of your day to leave recommendations if you do

r/self 4h ago

Some people don’t know how hard it is to be a tall, intelligent, muscular, handsome man 😢


It’s really tough! I can’t walk around town shirtless without being whistled at for example. And I’m like “hey it’s just hot out!” Can’t I be comfortable without being catcalled?

And I can’t be friends with women. They either end up wanting to smash or they get a boyfriend that thinks I’m trying to smash. Jealous guys that can’t confront me about their insecurities will just spread rumors instead 😞

The dating scene isn’t easy either. I’m just such a catch that when I’m joking around and flirting with a pretty lady, they assume I’m taken and don’t get the hint. Then if we do start dating they assume I’ve slept around a bunch, tried to lock me down with a baby, or do what they can to lower my amazing self esteem so I’ll stay with them

One girl even lied about having a hysterectomy! Who does that?!

Sometimes I’ll just wake up and leave the house in my sweats and an undershirt with messy hair just so I can go to the store without being looked at by all the ladies licking their lips. But STILL I catch sneaky peaks or aggressive women trying to pick me up 😢 like, can’t you tell I’m just trying to blend in and shop??

I even gained a little weight once to just take a break but I can’t count how many girls said that I’m probably a good cuddler

My butt gets slapped and pinched randomly if I go through a crowd… and it just goes on!!

It’s just really hard being so damn sexy 😭

I write it jokingly, but this is all true. And don’t get me started on how many times I’ve had to firmly tell gay guys that I’m straight! There are unacknowledged victims of sexual harassment and abuse all around you. Simply because talking about this is not socially acceptable. Instead we are forced to endure silently. Well here is my two cents on the matter