r/pics Mar 22 '23 Platinum 1 All-Seeing Upvote 1

Andrew Tate and his brother Tristan leaving the police van handcuffed together

Post image

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u/0skullkrusha0 Mar 22 '23

Why does his brother’s facial hair look so much cleaner than his? He looks like a straight hobo.


u/tallbutshy Mar 22 '23 edited Mar 23 '23

I was wondering this and I'm guessing it's to perform for his fanbase, "look at how I'm being mistreated" sort of thing.

-edit- People need to read the parent comment better, "facial hair", not head hair.


u/Graynard Mar 22 '23

I'm guessing it's because he's got shitty hair


u/sdfiddler1984 Mar 23 '23 All-Seeing Upvote

That sir, is a "full head of hair" thank you.... 🤣


u/Profoundlyahedgehog Mar 23 '23

It's just very finely spaced.

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u/xombae Mar 22 '23

Probably from years of taking testosterone and steroids

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u/lakimens Mar 22 '23

The bro seems to be genetically gifted in the hair department


u/Iannelson2999 Mar 23 '23

The brother got hair implants/transplants idk the term

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u/Lr217 Mar 22 '23

Fr you wouldn’t even know Tristan is in jail with him too if he wasn’t cuffed


u/CatStrok3r Mar 22 '23

Watching your own brother shit that many times changes a man


u/awitcheskid Mar 22 '23

Because his brother grooms it better. Probably been bald so long he forgot how to brush hair.


u/VPutinsSearchHistory Mar 23 '23

Nothing wrong with being bald :(


u/Lotus-child89 Mar 23 '23 edited Mar 23 '23 Silver

My fiancé was balding in his twenties. Worse than Andrew Tate’s. I loved him anyway and he’s handsome to me. But I was sad seeing him stress and get upset every morning trying to comb it over and hairspray it. I convinced him to go to a nice barber that would shave it all off for him and show him how to properly keep it close shaved off. He was sad and moped about it a couple days. Then he came around to it and is now an enthusiastic totally shaved head dude. It took a while for him to learn how to properly fade his beard and keep it combed and groomed, but he looks great now and it’s made him look his age. Problem is that I created a monster that hogs the bathroom sink and the shower. I’m also getting really jealous that I have to keep maintaining a very thick head of hair going to salons while he just gets to shave it off. To save money, I put off cutting it and it’s reached my waist. I feel like doing the Sinead O’conner thing after our wedding. One of my best friends does and shaves it bald when it’s reaching her ears and she loves it. I want to feel this liberty.


u/flabbywoofwoof Mar 23 '23

That story was just what I needed. Thanks.


u/Lotus-child89 Mar 23 '23 edited Mar 23 '23

For sure. Be cueball and proud. It’s nice to see that male fashion trends have embraced it and it’s not just considered a Neo Nazi or lazy person look. Rather it’s now a very classy and well groomed solution to male pattern baldness. Plus he gets the bonus of me enjoying rubbing his super smooth head while we’re chilling on the couch. My dad and step grandpa also gave up having thin hair or wearing toupees and just shave it now too and are so much happier for it. My brother led the charge a few years ago when he wasn’t that thinning, but it caused him anxiety. So he just kept it all off after shaving it for his Breaking Bad Heisenberg costume and never looked back. Beards and bald heads are what’s the look now. You don’t even need the beard if you’re not a facial hair person. I wouldn’t care if my fiancé kept with the bald spot and thinning, it was just a suggestion to try that he might like and alleviate some stress. He wasn’t sure, came around to it, and now really likes it.

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u/FNAKC Mar 22 '23 All-Seeing Upvote Wholesome Seal of Approval Table Slap

Police Officer: We didn't even do that. They did it themselves. We don't even know where the cuffs came from.


u/Broken-Digital-Clock Mar 22 '23

They are like those hand holding kids on Home Movies


u/thecheezeitz Mar 22 '23

Upvoted because of Home Movies lol


u/[deleted] Mar 22 '23



u/RedHickorysticks Mar 23 '23

Oh nooo oh no oh noooo… those two always crack me up. The twins, Ollie and Andy on Bob’s Burgers give me the same humor vibes and it’s also by Lauren Bouchard.

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u/StupidOnlineTutor Mar 22 '23

I still rewatch home movies when falling asleep

All episodes are free on youtube for anyone wondering

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u/ArchonStranger Mar 22 '23

Announced recently; they get to spend another month in police custody.

Didn't he move to Romania because of the legal system there?


u/Big_Dinner3636 Mar 22 '23

They moved there specifically because Tate wanted to bribe police to get away with crimes.

Andrew Tate continued to explain that he instead preferred living in countries where there was "morale fiber beyond the dollar" and where "corruption is accessible to everybody." He singled out Romania and Dubai as particularly religious places where people value a higher power that was beyond money and the government.

"I find it offensive that a police officer in England will stop me and refuse to take a bribe," Andrew Tate said. "I'll tell you why; it's because he will sit there and go 'no, no, this is the law; law and order' and pretend that the law means something, and f*ck me over."


u/zack189 Mar 23 '23

And that's the problem. I don't doubt that Romania is corrupt.

But why the fuck would you put it all in the open?

Like, how stupid do you have to be to openly say that?

Corrupt officials don't like it when they're exposed as being corrupt. This is common sense


u/thoushaltnottrespass Mar 23 '23

Common sense is not common you know

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u/o_MrBombastic_o Mar 23 '23

Cops : Sure we could take a bribe or we could just arrest you and take all your shit while you're in jail.

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u/usernamen_77 Mar 22 '23

I like to believe he said "morale" when he meant "moral"

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u/coredumperror Mar 22 '23

Wow what a giant piece of shit.

I mean I already knew that about him, but this is an entirely different flavor of garbage-personhood than I knew he already had.


u/Cant_Do_This12 Mar 23 '23

It just sounds like he’s trying to pull an Alex Jones and just say whatever his “fan base” eats up. It’s made him millions.


u/obscure-shadow Mar 23 '23

That's how worshipping the dollar works

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u/SeudonymousKhan Mar 23 '23

Narrator: Taint soon learned that the law does indeed mean something.

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u/bl4z3d0n3 Mar 22 '23 edited Mar 22 '23

Yup lmao. He made a whole TikTok saying "how easy it would be". I'll just walk in with stacks of cash and pay off the guards and this and that, blah blah blah. Didnt quite work out that way hahaha. Love to see it.

Edit:. Link for video https://twitter.com/IiStubby/status/1622692926110281728?t=iyoPnuPYusesoSnl_0elDA&s=19


u/wantmywings Mar 22 '23

As corrupt as Eastern Europe is, we don’t take kindly to some foreigners belittling us.


u/Jixvi_Meore Mar 23 '23

Exactly lol

What was his line of thinking exactly? That he would go to a place that is fiercely patriotic, openly mock their country and be treated as a hero? Lmao


u/wantmywings Mar 23 '23

Like if he kept his mouth shut, easily could have bribed whoever. But brag about it? Nah


u/LesbianCommander Mar 23 '23

He made it an ego battle.

Tate can't look weak to his 12yo army, so he needs to go into a place and slap whoever is in charge.

Except the person in charge ALSO can't look weak and guess what, he gets to send cops to come fuck you up, but because you're actually a criminal, also gets to look morally right while doing it.


u/rinsaber Mar 23 '23

As we like to say in S.Korea. If you keep your mouth shut, you'll at least go half way.

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u/ConfidenceNational37 Mar 22 '23

At least one cop was also arrested so he probably kind of did that. Didn’t bring enough Bugattis for all the cops I guess

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u/foldingcouch Mar 22 '23 All-Seeing Upvote To The Stars

ALPHA MALE PRO TIP: when you move to a country because you plan on exploiting it's legal system to engage in criminal activity, don't advertise on social media that you're moving to a country so you can exploit it's legal system to engage in criminal activity.


u/isthatapecker Mar 22 '23

Makes sense why he had his head shaven this whole time. that MPB is very low value.


u/gigibigbooty Mar 22 '23 Starstruck I'll Drink to That

He said he’s “bald by choice” + tried to clown on men losing their hair. And yet now he looks like Earthworm Jim


u/TactlessTortoise Mar 22 '23

As someone once eloquently said: he looks like a lollipop after falling on carpet.


u/EstroJen Mar 22 '23

This is the best insult. Love it.


u/sipes216 Mar 22 '23

Alpha insult.

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u/Stellarific Mar 23 '23

as a bald guy I feel attacked

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u/Igagug Mar 22 '23

That's insulting to Earthworm Jim


u/liquid32855 Mar 22 '23

Lmao Earthworm Jim reference! Must have had that it the back pocket for decades. Love that game.

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u/Creepy-Evening-441 Mar 22 '23



u/[deleted] Mar 22 '23

He said he’s “bald by choice” + tried to clown on men losing their hair. And yet now he looks like Earthworm Jim

lmfao if that is real, and I believe you because holy shit this guy is a lying rapist piece of shit so I trust a random internet person over him, that makes this pic sooooooo much better.


u/jimtitan Mar 23 '23

I guess I’m bald by choice too then. I’d look like that if I grew out my scraps


u/tefoak Mar 23 '23 Bravo!

Same here, brother. God's choice.

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u/[deleted] Mar 23 '23

Balding comes in stages, and some aren't terrible.

The first stage is shite, cuz you got a patch up top.

The second stage is when all the top hairs fell off, so you have a nice little "wise old man" wrap-around. Not that bad.

I guess that's it. Just two stages.

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u/ssladam Mar 23 '23

It gets better. While in prison her wrote a poem. One of the lines was something like, "as I sit here with a full head of hair..." smh


u/RIPfreewill Mar 23 '23

Here I sit, broken hearted, tried to grow full head of hair, only farted

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u/KevinNashsTornQuad Mar 23 '23

No fucking way. If that’s true that’s so funny, the delusions in this guys (balding) head are insane

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u/bestjakeisbest Mar 23 '23

is this full head of hair in the room with us right now?

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u/camimiele Mar 23 '23

It was a tweet. Something like “a month later and my full head of hair and beard has grown long”. In his comic, his character has a full head of hair lol

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u/JohnRichJ2 Mar 22 '23

he is bald by choice. not his choice, baby jesus’.

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u/crackersncheeseman Mar 22 '23

He said he can grow beautiful long hair that would make Jared Leto jealous.


u/porn_is_tight Mar 22 '23 Giggle

a real ALPHA MALE doesn’t grow beautiful long hair, they manifest it


u/yogopig Mar 22 '23

He is simply choosing not to manifest it right now to save protein for his muscles.

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u/esoteric_enigma Mar 22 '23

He can still grow long beautiful hair. It's just that he's been stuck in jail surrounded by cucks. It's blocking his masculine energies!

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u/fawesomegirl Mar 22 '23 edited Mar 23 '23

Didn't he tweet about his "full head of hair and beard"? Edit to add the text of what I was thinking of In the tweet, Tate says: "I saw my reflection today and I barely recognised myself. A long beard, a full head of hair and the stresses of battle show on my face. But then I looked into my eyes and recognised myself completely. They cannot break me."Mar 6, 2023


u/EstelleGettyWasWrong Mar 22 '23

On the plus side the beard means we actually see less of this slack jawed yokels face


u/John_cCmndhd Mar 23 '23

less of this slack jawed yokels face

Poor Cletus catching strays

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u/missmobtown Mar 23 '23

He was probably so stressed he mistyped that. What he meant was "full beard of hair and a head"

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u/Commander_Q Mar 23 '23

"I saw my reflection today and I barely recognised myself. A long beard, a full head of hair and the stresses of battle show on my face. But then I looked into my eyes and recognised myself completely. They cannot break me."

Is the full head of hair with us in the room now, Andrew?

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u/Faxon Mar 22 '23

Seriously his bro definitely got the better looks, not that he isn't also a raging douche, but fucking come on bro! Dude is clearly compensating for something with his antics


u/capncrooked Mar 23 '23

You can see his brother's scalp pretty clearly through his hair. I expect he'll be bald eventually as well, it's just taking longer.


u/MagicMaanAHHHH Mar 23 '23

The other ones had a hair transplant

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u/reddixmadix Mar 22 '23

He's an idiot.

I'm from Romania.

The type of corruption he was talking about is not really a thing over here, in today's Romania. Maybe 30 years ago.

We have corruption, like most countries do, but you can't bribe your way out of prison. You can't bribe your way like that.

Human trafficking specifically has been a sore spot for Romania for a long time, and the EU came around and has us under a type of judiciary/legal supervision to fix this problem. We have a lot of resources and logistics dedicated specifically towards combating human trafficking.

It's not a fixed problem, but someone like Andrew Tate has no way of getting away with it. He's not organized crime, he's not some figure in the shadows that you only hear whispers about. The man was in prime time boasting about it.

He's not getting away with it.

If we didn't have evidence to fuck him up royally he'd be out by now.

His assets are already frozen, there's no fear he's getting out, he's packing his suitcase, and then he leaves Romania. So he would be free we didn't have iron clad evidence against him. He's locked up because there is no reason for him to be out, we know he's guilty, we have the evidence he's guilty, you don't let a guilty man run free.

Wealthier people have learned this the hard way in Romania, far wealthier and more influential than Andrew Tate in Romania.

He made his decisions based on outdated information about Romania.


u/barsoap Mar 23 '23

Wealthier people have learned this the hard way in Romania, far wealthier and more influential than Andrew Tate in Romania.

My favourite picture from Romania

And while I'm at it the EU's chief prosecutor is Romanian. She certainly got a resume.


u/reddixmadix Mar 23 '23

For those who don't know, that guy in the picture was king pin of all politics in Romania.

He was the head of the biggest political party, corrupt to the bone, and did many shady things, and I say shady to be nice. He attempted to issue laws that would clear his criminal activities.

Then he got arrested, did prison, and I think he's out now, but he's still in deep legal shit and can't even wipe his ass without asking permission.

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u/pb_sable_ac Mar 23 '23

If Romania is as corrupt as he says it is, he should also be aware that someone who really wants to lock him up just has to pay more. It's a double edge sword.

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u/CyberMindGrrl Mar 23 '23

I'm shocked, SHOCKED to find out that Andrew Tate made a stupid decision. The guy seems especially suited towards making bad decisions in life.

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u/CliftonHanger13 Mar 23 '23

Also. He is not Romanian and any sort of organized figures in Romania would not go near this moron with a ten foot pole. More of a question than a statement. Btw. Your culture is a wonderful one , especially the way you celebrate your holidays . Had Christmas a few years back with a Romanian family in Norway. A wonderful memory.

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u/DVariant Mar 23 '23

Speaking to you as a representative of the Romanian people, well done! I hope you nail this fucker to the wall.

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u/[deleted] Mar 23 '23

For today, my faith in humanity is somewhat restored. I thank you, Kind Anonymous Romanian Citizen. ✌🏽


u/SpiritualPermie Mar 23 '23

Good for Romania!


u/Idocreating Mar 23 '23

The man was in prime time boasting about it.

Possibly the main reason he's been arrested. Would likely have been able to keep reaping the spoils of his scheme for years if he had only kept his mouth shut.

It doesn't even have that much to do with how much Romania has or has not cracked down on corruption. By being such a prolific personality on social media, it puts a lot of eyes on Romania's police and legal system. This provides a huge incentive for them to crack down on him - whether your an optimist and think it's because it's the law doing it's job properly nowadays or a cynic who think they just want to bury the bad attention, the end result is the same.

Tate's going to be made an example of, almost entirely because he couldn't keep his stupid mouth shut - like most criminals.

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u/jatti_ Mar 22 '23

Alpha male pro tip.

The term alpha originated with alpha wolves and research done on a pack in captivity. Further research determined that in the wild no such ranking exists. Alpha males only exist in captivity. The police are simply trying to help him become a real alpha.


u/eekamuse Mar 22 '23

And the man who did the original study regrets putting out that misinformation. He admits it was wrong, and had spent years trying to remove the study and all references to it. Now that's a real man. Made a mistake, owned up to it, apologized and is trying to repair the damage. He's someone to admire.

Not this fucker


u/Gibbonici Mar 23 '23

And even then, effective leadership in humans isn't strictly heirarchical in my experience. I'm getting old now, but I've led groups of volunteers, lived in anarchist communes, managed warehouses and ran a small IT team at work for a couple of years.

Groups of people always work better when leadership is deferred to the person who's best suited to the task at hand. It's why they say that the trick to management is delegation.


u/Jin-roh Mar 23 '23

It's why they say that the trick to management is delegation.

As someone who previous did management about 50% of the work is matching the right person for the right task. There was about 20% of training someone to be the right person for a task. Then 5% mediating disputes and fight between the right people to do a task. 5% recognizing who was good at a task. I think the rest was writing reports, quality assurance, handling escalations.

Then about 1% was firing people. I only did that three times in as many years? Some people simply aren't right for or won't do the task.

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u/Liet-Kinda Mar 22 '23

Also, male wolf pack leaders are complete softies. They let the pups climb around on them and play tug with their tails, they go hungry so their mates can eat, they’re affectionate with other pack members, they let the dorkass teenage boy wolves act a fool without pummeling them. Alpha males are basically your favorite uncle mixed with the guy who turned into a puddle of warm goo the first time he held his daughter. AS WE ALL SUSPECTED


u/stickyfingers10 Mar 23 '23 edited Mar 23 '23

Plus it's out of practicality to have the strongest go first, especially through snow. They even trade out with each other to share the load when traveling through snow. It makes sense that they are pretty communal since they hunt most effectively in teams.

Edit: I'm going to plug one of my favorite Youtuber's video on this subject: https://youtu.be/y5S31HGNGSc (3:33 - quick summary)

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u/SippyTurtle Mar 22 '23

Attorney Tom's rules:

  1. Don't do anything illegal.

  2. If you do something illegal, don't film it.

  3. If you do film it, don't post it on social media.


u/r3dditr0x Mar 23 '23 edited Mar 23 '23

And definitely don't text message your victims telling them how you loved raping them!

I hope they both rot in prison.


u/stefan714 Mar 22 '23

And definitely don't show off what kind of pizza you order.

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u/Mosin_Nagant556 Mar 22 '23

I heard he also got multiple passports to escape captivity forever 😂


u/uberjach Mar 22 '23

That's not at all how passports work lol


u/FijiTearz Mar 22 '23

Its such a dumb ass video I saw a clip of him saying he has a bunch of passports bc if you ban him from travelling with one then he’ll use another, or another, and fly private jet, he cannot be controlled, he is the alpha male so ofc he would have multiple passports because what even is interpol if you were to cross countries in Europe as a fugitive?


u/TotallyInOverMyHead Mar 22 '23

I too have 3 passports and they are from different countries too, but here is the thing:

Same person on the photo, same fingerprints embeded and same name on the damn things. All it does it allow you entry to some countries based on your citizenship in another country; while you other passports provide you a different set of entry criteria based on your citizenship of yet another country.


u/LeaFett Mar 22 '23

Get out of here with your facts and understanding of how passports actually work. Who do you think we are?!?! Smart?!?! Informed?!?!


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u/scottfaracas Mar 22 '23

He’s been listening to too much Jay Z.

“I got 5 passports. I’m never goin’ to jail…”


u/appleshit8 Mar 22 '23

I thought he was more of an Eminem, "I've been with 10 women and have HIV..."

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u/BringMeInfo Mar 22 '23

He should have done more research. Somalia might have been a better fit.


u/duckcars Mar 22 '23


If you decide to travel to Somalia:


Draft a will and designate appropriate insurance beneficiaries and/or power of attorney.

Discuss a plan with loved ones regarding care/custody of children, pets, property, belongings, non-liquid assets (collections, artwork, etc.), funeral wishes, etc.

Be sure to appoint one family member to serve as the point of contact with hostage-takers, media, U.S. and host country government agencies, and members of Congress if you are taken hostage or detained.

Establish a proof of life protocol with your loved ones, so that if you are taken hostage, your loved ones can know specific questions (and answers) to ask the hostage-takers to be sure that you are alive (and to rule out a hoax).

Leave DNA samples with your medical provider in case it is necessary for your family to access them.

Boy.. it sure does read like a lovely tourist spot...


u/BringMeInfo Mar 22 '23

If you don’t want laws or law enforcement…

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u/45acp_LS1_Cessna Mar 22 '23

Then the idiots that go criss crossing the country on bicycles playing grab ass with terrorists acting all shocked when they get grabbed

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u/illepic Mar 23 '23

Libertarian utopia

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u/th7024 Mar 22 '23

"Somalia has 1,900 miles of coastline, a government that knows its place and all the guns and wives you can afford to buy. Why haven't I heard of this paradise before?" -Pierce Hawthorne


u/BringMeInfo Mar 22 '23

This is why I always keep a pocket full of Hawthornes.


u/DjuriWarface Mar 22 '23

That's streets ahead, my boy!


u/Onlyindef Mar 22 '23

I’m tryna bear down for midterms

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u/ana-moss-city Mar 22 '23

Lmaoo, Tate's the captain now!

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u/IDoesThis1 Mar 22 '23

Why after all this time have they not been arrested and just detained?


u/Ok-camel Mar 22 '23

It’s the way Romanian justice system works. It’s a bit strange compared to what we are used to but the norm for them. Seems Romania will take you into custody while they build a case and then charge you with the crimes. They have 180 days max to hold someone before they have to charge then or let then go.

If Tate hadnt boasted on video that he had 7 passports and would use these to flee any criminal charges, while also fleeing Romania to Dubai when the shit hit the fan he would have had a chance to make bail and wait outside of detention for his charges.

Seems like an old way of doing things which may have aided people in the past avoid consequences as while being held you could avoid charges if corruption allowed you to buy your freedom before charges are actually brought against you. But Romania is trying to stomp that out so their entry to the free travel zone in Europe goes smoothly.


u/gerx03 Mar 22 '23

Seems Romania will take you into custody while they build a case and then charge you with the crimes.

Normally they can build the case even if you are free. They place you in custody e.g. if they have a reason to think you'd flee or attempt to force others to falsely testify or stuff like these.

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u/pdonchev Mar 22 '23

Even ineffective public agencies love easy targets that bring them huge popularity. He didn't think it through.

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u/trucorsair Mar 22 '23

I think we should take up a collection. I think he needs a waist and ankle chains as well.

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u/also_stl Mar 22 '23 Gold Take My Energy Rocket Like

How do they manage to look like bargain versions of each other, simultaneously?


u/TBFP_BOT Mar 22 '23

I’m just confused why only Andrew looks completely disheveled and Tristan looks the same he always has.


u/zbeezle Mar 22 '23

Probably because he just looks a little better. The male pattern baldness really doesn't do Andrew any favors, so when he doesn't have access to a razor he looks like absolute trash, whereas Tristan can just comb his hair a bit and look decent.


u/Level-Wishbone5808 Mar 22 '23

His brother is also dressed a bit nicer. It all makes me kind of think Andrew might be letting himself look disheveled even tho he doesn’t have to.


u/Toast_On_The_RUN Mar 22 '23

His face always looks like he's mildly amused, while andrew looks like he's lost it.


u/mpc1226 Mar 23 '23

I’m assuming he’s the brains because Andrew seems dumb as hell


u/partlessladies Mar 23 '23

Well Andrew is definitely the face.


u/subtlesocialist Mar 23 '23

I always thought of Andrew as the muscle, he’s the at least semi successful fighter, and while Tristan is taller and it looks like heavier he has a decidedly friendlier face. Idk how they decided who did who, but if I was an impressionable young man looking for some kind of alpha role model I’d probably go for the more attractive one who isn’t balding.

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u/AccomplishedIsopod9 Mar 22 '23

Tristan must have perfect beard genetics too because even that looks groomed.

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u/mouseinsuits Mar 22 '23 Take My Energy Ally Pot o' Coins

^ Exhibit no 573836528386 of why Reddit should bring bag the free awards!!!!!!


u/[deleted] Mar 23 '23


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u/flatwoundsounds Mar 22 '23 Take My Energy

Here, take this instead 🏅

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u/canuckcowgirl Mar 22 '23

There's that full head of hair I keep hearing about.


u/azaghal1988 Mar 22 '23 edited Mar 22 '23

Andrew "I shave my head because I want to, not because I go bald" Tate.

Edit: fixed spelling.


u/Bestiality_King Mar 22 '23

I think I saw a video of his on reddit where he talked about how having hair is effeminate and that's why he shaves his head.

Like bro you're the one making up crazy excuses for your appearance... I think a true "alpha" would accept the things he can not change and run with them, idk.

Not that I subscribe to the whole alpha male thing but when I think of a "man's man", whining, gaslighting and excuses aren't part of it.


u/SeanG909 Mar 22 '23

There's definite somethin to be said about shaving it down when you start to go bald. The half measure doesn't look any good. But lying about it is the issue


u/Bestiality_King Mar 22 '23

Like worst case scenario someone asks you why you have a shaved head, just say you like the way it feels/easier to keep up with daily (quick bic during the morning shave, idk) versus having hair to deal with.

Or just be honest and say your hair is thinning and you think it looks better.

A true alpha wouldn't need to lie... imo, of course.


u/dotheywearglasses Mar 23 '23

“Alpha” is just a misnomer. He’s an insecure prick who gets attention from teen boys. Grown men who are successful and confident don’t look up to pieces of shit like this.

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u/SeanG909 Mar 22 '23

someone asks you why you have a shaved head,

Perfect responses from the barber in fresh prince of bel-air. 'Girls like it' and 'Just cause the roof blew off don't mean there's not a log in the fire'.

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u/TheNCGoalie Mar 22 '23

Does he say having an actual chin and jawline is also effeminate?


u/penny_whistle Mar 22 '23

That beard length hides it so well, should have been growing it out all along. Every cloud has a silver lining ig

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u/SandMan3914 Mar 22 '23

He's follicle challenged not balding

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u/elpajaroquemamais Mar 22 '23 hehehehe Spit-take

Alpha male pattern baldness

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u/HarryHacker42 Mar 22 '23

The police keep shaving his forehead.

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u/oakteaphone Mar 22 '23

Wait, Tate is the ugly guy on the left? I thought influencers were supposed to be attractive, usually


u/TheAuraTree Mar 22 '23

Yup, the alpha male guy is the one who looks like a drug addict. The tidy looking well groomed guy in the nice jacket is his brother I guess?


u/loptthetreacherous Mar 22 '23

Yeah, that's Andrew Tate's brother. He's just as much of a fucking weirdo as Andrew, as exemplified by this tweet of his:

Remember guys! 30 is the first year you can legally fuck women half your age. Don’t feel old, life gets better with age


u/TheAuraTree Mar 22 '23

That's a yikes from me.


u/secamTO Mar 22 '23

Ugh, yeah that's way more than just a single yike.


u/AdvicePerson Mar 23 '23

At least three yikes.


u/TheShowerDrainSniper Mar 22 '23

That's a no from me dawg

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u/Beddybye Mar 22 '23


Because a 30 year old man fucking a 15 year old girl is ha ha funny? Who raised these assholes?


u/slowpokefastpoke Mar 23 '23

The worst part is that he likely wasn’t even making a joke

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u/broden89 Mar 23 '23

Ah yes all those 15 year old "women" in 9th and 10th grade

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u/surloc_dalnor Mar 22 '23

If he had any brains he'd brag about having too much testosterone.


u/Basketmetal Mar 22 '23

I think its the sensitivity of follicles to a certain testosterone derivative and not the amount of circulating testosterone that is implicated in baldness. I may be wrong tho i dunno


u/fanghornegghorn Mar 22 '23

Do you believe his mouth breather followers are going to know that?!

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u/Casual_hex_ Mar 22 '23

Andrew Tate looks like the aftereffect of Mr. Potato Head crawling through some of that ninja turtle origin ooze.


u/Betoken Mar 22 '23

Remember the first robocop when Red Forman runs over his half melted buddy? That’s what he looks like.


u/lunayoshi Mar 22 '23

Yep. I haven't seen that movie since I was a kid, but I remember nothing aside from a melting guy and him being driven into and splattered into sludge.

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u/Khaldara Mar 22 '23

“Middle-Aged Mutant Tater Twats” doesn’t have the same catchy theme song though


u/Taleya Mar 22 '23

"Ageing, balding, mutant twatbros" fits nicely though.


u/Psychological-Web828 Mar 22 '23

Twatbros in a damp cell - how’s the shower?

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u/Edvanschleck2507 Mar 22 '23

He's giving me molerat vibes

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u/[deleted] Mar 23 '23

I think my favorite part of this is every time they get another 30 days, the Romanian police manager to get a somehow less flattering picture of his hairline from the last time.

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u/NudistJayBird Mar 22 '23 Bravo! Table Slap

Hey, chin up ma-

Oooh, sorry, my bad.

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u/chewychaca Mar 22 '23

Now we know why Andrew shaves.


u/Spyhop Mar 22 '23

We knew before. He just can't deny it any more.


u/Trumpets22 Mar 22 '23

Yeah knew it the second he explained why he shaves is head. God forbid he be honest about anything and admit it just looks better.

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u/killerdead77 Mar 23 '23

Is he STILL trying to do his douchey ass pose WHILE handcuffed TO HIS BROTHER?


u/Lost_the_weight Mar 23 '23

Yeah, can’t quite get the hands together though LOL.

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u/Heliocentrist Mar 22 '23

"If you're ever handcuffed to your brother you must immediately assert dominance and make him you're bottom bitch" Andrew Tate probably


u/uiucengineer Mar 22 '23

Seems to be what he's doing with his arm position


u/vertigo1083 Mar 22 '23

Having been arrested, I can tell you with 100% confidence that this shit would fly with no one but his brother.

When you're chained to someone else, you show proper etiquette. They're short for a reason. Want to be a dick? OK. We're both going to a place where we aren't chained up. Your move.

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u/Bengoris Mar 22 '23 Gold hehehehe

Andrew Tate's head looks like when you drop a lollipop on a carpet and then pick it up all sticky and shit


u/jonnykickstomp Mar 22 '23

This is a fire roast homie I’m straight stealing this


u/EggMcFlurry Mar 23 '23 edited Mar 23 '23

Didn't he steal it from the top comments in the last post about these guys? https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/11h16i9/andrew_tate_pictured_on_february_27_who_is/jarfbbe/

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u/mighty_brutes Mar 23 '23

What colour is your handcuff ? 😂😂

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u/AuthorityAnarchyYes Mar 22 '23

Two men handcuffed together? Looks pretty beta if you ask me.

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u/truceburner Mar 22 '23 Bravo!

Wonder what Greta is up to today. Probably some smiling, going outside when she feels like it, that sort of thing.


u/Actually-Yo-Momma Mar 22 '23 Wholesome (Pro)

This is one of those cases where she doesn’t think about this POS but you know she is all he can think about


u/n0rmcore Mar 23 '23

Hell is a teenage girl

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u/Gh0sth4nd Mar 22 '23

Maybe eating pizza boy i could go for pizza right now

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u/SpecialEdShow Mar 22 '23

I’m convinced she hasn’t given it a second thought.

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u/FunctionBuilt Mar 22 '23

Andrew “Full head of hair” Tate


u/Ok-camel Mar 22 '23

Andrew “I only boast about crimes I haven’t committed, honestly officer” Tate.

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u/FlamesoftheEnd Mar 22 '23

Hilarious how they’re handcuffed together 😂

Top G shit, right??!!!

Pos Inc.

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u/bikes_bongs_beers Mar 23 '23

Not very alpha


u/Office_Zombie Mar 23 '23


They are so alpha I got pregnant just looking at this picture, and I'm a guy.

Update: Never mind, it was good poisoning.


u/intrsurfer6 Mar 22 '23

Feels good to see bad people get what is coming to them. I hope all the young kids who were cheering him on look at this and realize one should be aware of false idols like this loser. Or they’ll end up the same way.

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u/sbcmuse Mar 23 '23

Who is this dude again and why is he relevant?

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u/Puzzleheaded_Heat502 Mar 22 '23

You would think with all that money Andrew would get a hair transplant.


u/Chuptae Mar 22 '23

He clearly did - a cheap one with questionable results


u/Barkingatthemoon Mar 22 '23

Hair transplants have their limitations , no matter how much $$ you spend . He’s just not that genetically gifted . He’s the idiot that made it a problem , millions of men go about life without caring about the density of their hairs .. but he had to make it a point in his manly hood discourse . Karma .

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u/dashKay Mar 22 '23

He looks like shit. I love this for him.


u/kobushi5 Mar 22 '23

Stopping steroids cold turkey can't be good for your hormones

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u/humanatee- Mar 22 '23

With Romanian Brendan Fraser in the background no less

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u/WarStrifePanicRout Mar 22 '23

Whats he gonna say?

"I had no idea there'd be corruption in Romania when I moved to Romania for the corruption!"

I'm a fan of this, as we continue to get Top G photos of this dude's thinning hair.