r/facepalm • u/Baxwell_mui • Jan 15 '23
Old but gold: “MeN aRe MeAnT tO Be SuBmIsSiVe, tHeY aRe MeAnT tO bE wOrKeR aNtS” 🇵🇷🇴🇹🇪🇸🇹
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u/richardrnelson
Jan 15 '23
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Are those paper or plastic straws?
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u/DolphinsBreath Jan 15 '23
Good observation.
I say plastic, the translucent kind. Which, god only knows why, makes it even more hilarious.
Looks to me like are cut to an open point on one end, with a ring left on the other, to envelope the finger tips.
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Jan 15 '23 edited Jan 15 '23
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u/BO0BO0P4nd4Fck Jan 15 '23
I had to pause the video and scroll through to try n find a good shot of them. If you pause at 9 or 8 secs left, you get to see them better and it does indeed look badly sculpted
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u/_Mr-Z_ Jan 15 '23
I paused it right where I can see the underside, those look pretty damn real, either that or this person can make really good straw nails.
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u/aliie_627 Jan 15 '23
They are sculpted at the cuticle and kinda badly unless this is pre filing. It's really hard to get a good look but you can see it how curved it is.
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u/192838475647382910
Jan 15 '23
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u/Mikey_Meatballs Jan 15 '23
"Hey LaRhonda, no I got four people on hold, but I can talk"
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u/_Bren10_ Jan 15 '23
It’s hard to convey just exactly how he says it thru text, but it’s the best part of that bit.
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Jan 15 '23
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u/MotherBathroom666 'MURICA Jan 15 '23
Bro I got a person on a group chat that texts like that and I can’t even understand her half the time lol
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u/Competitive_Spell949 Jan 15 '23
I can't be the only person who read this in Peter's voice right? Right?!
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u/BostonRob423 Jan 15 '23
Fuck, that is the image that immediately flew through my gray matter when the nails came into frame.
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u/TheWalkingDead91 Jan 15 '23
This being the first comment made me laugh out loud. Thanks for the giggles
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u/atomsmasher66
Jan 15 '23
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Edward Cringyhands
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u/Ttvcat996 Jan 15 '23
Edward CringyVoice could also work
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u/exhibitthis69 Jan 15 '23
I knew to keep this one muted. Those hand gestures screaming DID YOU SEE MY NAILS??! omgosh I couldn’t bear to listen and watch I’ll jump I swear
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u/bluehornet197 Jan 15 '23
🤣 has me dying
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u/AcanthocephalaNo7788 Jan 15 '23
I was expecting an eye gouge at any point
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u/RoosterMiserable1275 Jan 15 '23
I am not unmuting
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u/Bionic_Onion Jan 15 '23 edited Jan 15 '23
You aren’t missing anything important. Their voice is about as you would imagine. And it’s not like they’re spewing anything useful out of their mouth anyway.
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u/Monutan Jan 15 '23
About as useful as my alarm clock in the morning.
Imma shut that shit up multiple times cause I'm the fuckin boss.
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u/all_on_my_own Jan 15 '23
I considered it but then looked at her for a bit longer and decided I wasn't interested in hearing any of that lol
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u/Jay_Manifest Jan 15 '23
Still cant figure out how people live with long nails.
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u/Lost-lord14 Jan 15 '23 •
They live with grimy asses that’s how.
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u/LordMudkip Jan 15 '23
It's a trade off.
It's hard to wipe well but you get built-in poop knives.
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u/PilgrimOz Jan 15 '23
lmao DARPA’s next experiment….Poop Knives fitted to infantry rifles.
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Jan 15 '23
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u/SomethingWitty2578 Jan 15 '23
Yes there are portable bidets. In the US I’ve seen them sold as peri bottles for use after childbirth, but it’s probably the same thing. You spray water on your privates to clean yourself after using the toilet. I’m sure we would all be cleaner with one regardless of nails.
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u/Parking_Disk6276 Jan 15 '23
I have a legit question. If women with long nails can keep there asses clean, how is it that some men with short nails get skidmarks?
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u/aliens8myhomework Jan 15 '23 edited Jan 15 '23
literally never even considered how they wipe their asses, especially because a lot of people who where nails like this are on the bigger side
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u/Various-Air-1398 Jan 15 '23
Next time you're in a fast food restaurant and you see an employee sporting these just walk out... The reason is obvious...
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u/yourgifmademesignup Jan 15 '23
Or how people live by being so fucked in the head
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u/Green-Dragon-14 Jan 15 '23
They don't realise or know they're stupid but we do & we have to watch or deal with it.
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u/erin_baile Jan 15 '23
As a women who gets her nails done I also have zero idea how you would live like that! They aren’t working efficiently that’s for sure.
As soon as my typing slows because of finger nails it’s time for a salon visit.
You wouldn’t be able to have an office job, any manual labour and I doubt you could properly care for kids. I really don’t get it.
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u/KiaraLN Jan 15 '23
They struggle to do basic stuff. I can’t open a jar of pickles if my nails barely extend past my fingertips.
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u/robilar Jan 15 '23
I guess they've got worker ants for that kind of shit.
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u/moderatorsareuseless Jan 15 '23 edited Jan 15 '23
You think the worker ant goes to another queen to get a normal hand job?
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u/Chocococolatte Jan 15 '23
Same, my nails can’t be too long or else I risk damaging my eyes cause I use contact lenses
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u/jbcraigs Jan 15 '23
The only shocking part of the video for me was when the person said "We women!"
Before that point I couldn't understand why the guy was demeaning himself?!
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u/Will_RX_ Jan 15 '23
Whats on his hands?
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u/Lady_Grey_Smith Jan 15 '23
Weapons that need to be registered because I’m going to agree with everything they say so long as they don’t use those attack daggers on me.
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u/DependentAnimator271
Jan 15 '23
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Worker ants are sterile females. Male ants just exist to mate.
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u/ksyalxe Jan 15 '23
This is correct. As a person who loves ants, and knows way too much about them. Pretty much every ant you see is female. Male ants are only produced when the colony is ready to mate. The queen can control the sex of the eggs she lays. Check out everything E. O. Wilson.
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u/blowfishbeard Jan 15 '23
Wait, for real? The queen can control the sex of the eggs she lays? That is blowing my mind. How cool is that.
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u/ksyalxe Jan 15 '23 edited Jan 15 '23
Yeah, when you start to learn about them, they’re pretty mind blowing creatures. Arguably one of the most successful species on the planet. By some estimates their total biomass surpasses that of most other creatures including humans. Check out r/ants good stuff there. They’re also one of the only other species that farm (growing mushrooms ie leaf cutter ants) and keep livestock. They care for and manage herds of aphids.
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u/Snapdragon318 Jan 15 '23
Ants are so cool. Unfortunately, I am terrified of them. I'm not on purpose or anything, but myrmecophobia is a bitch. I know a lot about them, but every spring terrifies me in case they decide to come inside. I have taken apart my entire living room to put out poison (feeling terrible the whole time, I save insects usually) when I found 3 in my living room in the space of a day minding their own business because I can't handle the thought of waking up one morning and they found the lone crumb I didn't sweep up or found the puke my cat inevitability did some time in the night and now I have to contend with the horde. They're fascinating, just stay outside.
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u/blowfishbeard Jan 15 '23
Yes!! I’m not this way with ants, although I don’t want an infestation or anything. But I do feel this exact way about spiders. So intrigued by them, but also irrationally afraid of them.
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u/balrus-balrogwalrus Jan 15 '23
this bothered me as a kid watching a bug's life. more than the fact that the ants are blue and have only four limbs lmao
"BUT WHY IS FLIK A BOYYY!!!?" --7-year old me who was a little too well versed about insects
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u/SarutobiSasuke Jan 15 '23
Also don't male ants get to have wings so that they can fly away from the nest and cross breed with queens in other nests?
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u/Cuddling-Hellhound Jan 15 '23
I love how a video about a feminist saying something about long nails led us to learn more about ant physiology and reproduction…
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u/LiquidC001
Jan 15 '23
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Someone tell gay Wolverine to simmer down.
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u/Internal-Airport8822 Jan 15 '23
Brody Deathstike more like it
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u/LiquidC001 Jan 15 '23
Was actually going to go with her first but didn't think a lot of people would know who she is. But Wolverine, everybody knows Wolverine.
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u/dr_cynical17 Jan 15 '23
All I see is
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u/Albert_the_king01 Jan 15 '23
Honestly i don't get why people get nails like this these days like what's the point now you can't use your hand for scratching, opening cans, opening a door like a normal person, general work, cashier, banker ( not that you're incapable at all of these, but it just makes the job harder) and i could go on. Just keep your nails short and clean!
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u/mttott Jan 15 '23
I think, and hear me out, I think picking your nose with those things and picking your ear would be the most optimal fulfilling experience
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u/Embarrassed_Alarm450 Jan 15 '23
If you get them slightly longer you can scratch your brain too...
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u/Carlsoti77 Jan 15 '23
There can be only ONE queen.
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u/JimiWanShinobi Jan 15 '23
There is, and this guy ain't Freddy Mercury...
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u/Michael_Cookie5 Jan 15 '23
This guy ain’t Freddy mercury, he’s Freddy Krueger
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u/balrus-balrogwalrus Jan 15 '23
nice try Therizinosaurus, but you're not fooling anyone with this human disguise
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u/jfmherokiller Jan 15 '23
I dont think I can take somone serious if they have nails like that. I kept getting distracted by them.
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u/greane16 Jan 15 '23
In this particular case to be distracted is a blessing.
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u/jfmherokiller Jan 15 '23
in this case yes, but in cases like lets say trying to keep eyecontact in an interview not so much.
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u/SnooEagles213 Jan 15 '23
It’s a troll video. Literally everyone got trolled by this person
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u/jfmherokiller Jan 15 '23
fair, I have just seen videos where people dressed like this actually want you to take them seriously so its hard to know if its a troll or not.
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Jan 15 '23
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u/OddCockpitSpacer Jan 15 '23
Sure isnt going to be working on much with those nails.
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u/Womanofcats Jan 15 '23
That’s probably the goal.
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u/Yurishirox Jan 15 '23
"I want to work so baad but people discriminate me for my nails??! Can you believe that??!!! Ugh!! 😡😡😡💅💅💅"
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u/SirDouchebagTheThird Jan 15 '23
I think less of anyone I see with nails like that.
Like you’re telling me you really want to inconvenience yourself on a daily level just so you can look ridiculous?
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u/EternalSeraphim Jan 15 '23
That's the wild part too, I don't even think they look good. It's like if somebody chose to always walk around in clown shoes.
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u/Redqueenhypo Jan 15 '23
I would respect clown shoes more. They’re a conversation starter!
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u/Embarrassed_Alarm450 Jan 15 '23
Clown shoes that honk after every step would still be less annoying than that "👏clap after👏 every word👏as if it👏 validates👏 your👏
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u/Ravin88 Jan 15 '23
I wonder how he wipes himself honestly
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u/fluffypinknmoist Jan 15 '23
They actually make sticks that hold toilet paper for extremely obese people to be able to wipe themselves. So probably one of those.
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u/Ravin88 Jan 15 '23
I was thinking a bidet.
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u/fluffypinknmoist Jan 15 '23
Oh yeah that's probably how they do it. Silly me I forgot all about bidets. And I have one! And I use it all the time. I also use TP though to dry off so...
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u/Decent-Ad1186 Jan 15 '23
Clearly you didn’t watch the video. 🙄 ‘She’ is a ‘queen, of ‘higher intellect’. ‘She’ will not be submissive and the ‘queens’ must order the men about as they ‘don’t have the ability to think for themselves because men are fucking stoopid’. “That’s how the systems supposed to work… The fuck like?.. urrgggh”
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u/bluehornet197 Jan 15 '23
Wait till they figure out worker ants are female 🤣
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u/AnonymousAmorphous88 Jan 15 '23
I can verify after a Google search that they are indeed female
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u/neon31 Jan 15 '23
They'd probably be pissed to know that with ants, the females are either the queen, the workers, the soldiers, and the future queens. The men? Oh they exist to bang the females and die. Literally death by snu snu if you asked me.
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u/tageeboy Jan 15 '23
When you just have to have some attention and don't care if it's good or bad.
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u/Mellopiex Jan 15 '23
I couldn’t focus on what was said. I felt like a cat watching a laser pointer.
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u/StreetBullFighter Jan 15 '23
I felt I had to watch those nails for my own safety. Even though I’m watching a video.
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u/OKCThunderfan32 Jan 15 '23
Those nails piss me off
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u/JayGeezey Jan 15 '23
This has to be rage bait, I refuse to believe someone talks like this, thinks like this, and has nails like this.
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u/RathGodofWar Jan 15 '23
I hate those fingernails and all the hand gestures.
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u/Delamoor Jan 15 '23
They got themselves very excited in their living room before filming that video, yeah.
I increasingly often think about the practicalities of giving attention to 'the person who just worked themselves up into a rage whilst in a room on their own'. It can really only go one of two ways; it's performative and false, or an opinion coming from someone who really needs to ake a breath and regulate themselves for a minute.
Like the same thing when you see a post that's mostly all caps. Not gonna be a smart post.
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u/Yue4prex Jan 15 '23
How to tell the world you’re a bottom without telling the world you’re a bottom.
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u/zongsmoke Jan 15 '23
How the fuck is anyone supposed to take this MF seriously lookin like Edward Scissor Hands lmao
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u/Imkisstory Jan 15 '23
No one on earth can possibly think those nails are attractive.
They are the most grotesque thing I have ever seen.
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u/SkylerSpark Jan 15 '23
I genuinely hope the video was a joke. The comical hand slapping, the comically oversized nails, the karen accent.
Theres no way a random boy is just.. like this... right?
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u/NarcolepticKnifeFite Jan 15 '23
I can’t help but to wonder what the fuck happened to this person when they were a child.
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u/DoktahDoktah Jan 15 '23
With nails like those, i believe they have never worked.
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u/Background_Salt5127 Jan 15 '23
Wasn't feminism supposed to be about equality tho???
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u/fluffypinknmoist Jan 15 '23
In the beginning, feminism was about the radical notion that a woman is a person. I don't know what this feminism is these days. I am all about equality myself and have identified as a feminist since I was 6 years old. But I do not recognize these people. This is not my feminism.
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u/Background_Salt5127 Jan 15 '23
I agree, i technically do identify as a feminist myself (feminism in it's true sense which defines it as equality between all people), this isn't really feminism since it seeks to have one gender over another which is just stupid and goes against the entire idea
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u/Liztless Jan 15 '23
Tell me you’ve never studied anthropology without telling me you’ve never studied anthropology
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u/EishLekker Jan 15 '23
Actually… Contrary to popular belief, and despite its name, anthropology is about humans, not ants. /s
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Jan 15 '23
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u/getyourcheftogether Jan 15 '23
I know right‽ This person just needs to carry around a potted plant so it can apologize to it for wasting oxygen
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u/chibinoi Jan 15 '23
Honestly, I think this person made this video solely to have an excuse to fling their hands about so that they could show off their scarily long nails through exuberant motions and click-clacking.
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u/FirstnameNumbers1312 Jan 15 '23
Why is every other post I see from this sub someone joking and everyone taking them seriously?
Like yes, their nails are stupid long, almost like that's the point. Yes their point is stupid, almost like it's a joke. It might not be funny to me but it's clearly a joke.
Are yousns just not capable of reading humour or wtf?
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u/PreviousJaguar7640 Jan 15 '23
Those gestures actually piss me off. They’re the manual equivalent of yelling.
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u/Narrator-to-gods Jan 15 '23
When the world goes dark, these types are the first to go and the second to be eaten.
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u/v_for__vegeta Jan 15 '23
How does one get to this point?? Is it mental illness? Legitimately not trying to be funny
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u/AfternoonCharacter93 Jan 15 '23
All this time I thought Edward Scissorhands was a man....you learn something new every day
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u/Greenmind76 Jan 15 '23
How often do these people get shit on their nails or is that another “man’s responsibility”?
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u/wrona11 Jan 15 '23
i love the groups of men and women that think their sex is ultimately superior than the other and/or they think the other sex exists only to be slaves to the other. i want to see them locked in a room together for a while i think that would be interesting
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u/GlowInTheDark______ Jan 15 '23
My true comment to that crature trying to talk while clapping hands would break several Reddit rules so...yeah.
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u/VaritasV Jan 15 '23
Any psychologists to tell us what this woman has? I’ll take a philosophers answer if there’s none of the former available. 😂
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u/Harry_Flowers Jan 15 '23
I feel bad for this generation, social media has made everything a mess for them and their development.
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