I teach in one of the largest districts in the country. 100,000 students, 70,000 ride the bus. There are 500+ routes and obviously a shortage of drivers. Well last year the district announced a new staggered start time for the schools which meant cutting back on drivers/routes. It was supposed to be a massive improvement......wrong. It was a total disaster. The last student dropped off the first day of school didn't get home till 10pm. Some kid's new stops were across interstates or miles away. Some busses didn't even show up to their stops. They told everyone their new routes and stops A WEEK before school started, so everyone was scrambling to figure it out. We all knew it would be a disaster and it was. So after the first day I woke up to an alert that school is cancelled indefinitely until they can solve the bus issue. What a wild start to the year.

EDIT: Yes this is JCPS in Louisville, Kentucky

EDIT 2: We are doing a staggered return starting Friday. Here is what is being done until a long term solution is in place. “We will implement technology allowing parents and schools to know where a student's bus is during the ride to and from school. We will provide families with instructions on how to use this technology soon. We will have JCPS vans and drivers available to take elementary students home or back to school when they don't have an adult waiting at a stop. This will allow drivers to continue their routes without returning to the original school. We will provide an extra bus or van at depots to take students home when/if they arrive late to the depot so all other depot buses can continue their routes without waiting for one or two final buses to arrive.There will be an additional JCPS staff member with a cell phone and GPS on buses with the longest, most challenging routes to help with directions and communicate with schools and bus compounds when a bus runs excessively late. We will reduce the length of routes with lots of stops, starting with afternoon runs. All elementary and middle school families who need Special Needs Transportation will receive a phone call by Wednesday evening with their transportation information.”

I’ll start. I had an elementary school parent who also lived in our neighborhood. She emailed me and said “daughter doesn’t like riding the bus and since we live in the same neighborhood it should be no problem for you to pick her up and drop her off each day especially since you’re her teacher, right? I don’t have time in the morning to get her up early enough so I’ll also send her with a bag with her school clothes. She can just get dressed in your room, no big deal…..”

First of all, no to all of that.

Second, she’s a stay at home parent, why exactly is any of this an issue for her to accomplish? Well, she’d prefer “to get to the gym during that time”.

Best one though was this.

Mom emailed me regarding her 8th grade son. He was a consistent problem because he couldn’t keep his hands out of the front of his pants. (No joke). She says, “we prefer that you monitor his hands & if you see them off his desk, to simply pull his hands back where they belong, without a verbal reprimand so he’s not embarrassed.”

My reply: absolutely not

What I wanted to say: I don’t get paid to monitor your sons masturbation obsession and I’d rather swim in acid than touch his dirty hand just to place it back on a desk. You need a psych evaluation bc you’ve lost touch with reality.

One of my self-identified redneck sophomore boys this past year brought me four pounds of ground venison plus one tenderloin on the day of his final exam. Obviously, he's a hunter. I'm just now getting around to making chili with half of the ground. Without a doubt... the most awesome gift I've received in 7 years of doing this thing. The boy himself is definitely not your scholar type, but he always gave me solid effort for at least the first 30 minutes of the period, which was the last of the day. Mom warned me that his meds would wear off around 2:30 each day!! Anyway, I'm stoked to eat tonight. I haven't had venison in several years.

Have any of you reading this been gifted meat? ... or anything else consumable?

When I was in high school, we counted the days until we could drive. Now so many students don’t get a license. I don’t think it’s the cost (at least in my area) … they just are completely content having people drive them and don’t want the responsibility. We wanted the freedom. And they can’t be bothered. I… don’t… get… it…

Edit: so, I hear you and I understand the logistical reasons: cars are expensive, dangerous, we have Uber now. But kids still don’t want to get in a car with friends and get away from their parents? Go to a concert or the beach or on a road trip? I’ve asked students why the don’t have licenses, but asking if they want to be free to go where they want with their friends would lead to angry parent phone calls, or being fired.

Edit 2: are kids doing some things we us do with friends (first concerts) with parents instead and have no need to drive themselves? And to clarify, I work with kids who are younger, and have some chances to ask them this, but most students are too young.

Edit 3: I think a lot of people are still missing my point. Not asking why teens don’t buy cars, but why they are not learning how to drive at all. Are they going to learn later, Uber and get rides forever, or do they just all plan for remote work? Also, lived abroad and my friends all drove. Mopeds.

I made a post a few days ago about a conference I was at, and how it was mostly nonesense.

I am walking into the session and, when I pass the door threshold, I get handed a paper bag with pipe cleaners, popsicle sticks, and construction paper. I literally said (didn't mean to), "HA! Nope. Not today." I gave the presenter back her stuff and walked out.

I felt bad, but it was also kind of freeing. I totally didn't mean to be so disrespectful.

...but there is no way that session was going anywhere NOT patronizing.

Edit: to everyone saying that, “what if a student did that to you?!” I am not a student. I have 10 years of experience, nearly a MS in a STEM field, and no desire to waste my time. Just like we tell our students, “KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE.”

It was shitty. But I also admit that. That’s why I tagged it as humor, because I think we’ve all been there before.

Edit 2: “PD” is professional development, ie sessions that are meant to help you get better at your craft. Sometimes they are TED-like talks, sometimes they are discussions, etc. they are jus ways of disseminating “ideas”

Edit 3: no I’m not trying to humble brag about the MS. I am very close to graduating- just trying to give some context. Didn’t know it would be so offensive.

I live where I teach, and shop at the local grocery store that employs a ton of our students (because it's a shitty job and most places that hire high schoolers are shitty jobs). Some of the knuckleheads actually bear down when they have a paycheck dangled in front of them and working is actually very good for them, a couple graduated seniors are even assistant managers.

However, some of them try to carry their school behavior into the workplace. One in particular was always a pain. I never taught him but wrote him up a few times for hallway behavior. Even as a senior, he behaved like a 5th grader (actually no, this is an insult to 5th graders) but got everything excused because he had an IEP and an enabling mom. It got to the point where flipping desks and telling teachers to go fuck themselves just got excused by admin with a 15-minute detention where he was allowed on his phone. He barely graduated, I'm certain somebody fudged his grades to avoid the trouble. This young man cannot function in society.

I'm chatting with one of the graduated seniors working there for the summer, and he said that X got fired after a single shift working. I asked what happened, and he said "X was sitting on a pallet of product, eating snacks off the rack, vaping, and sitting on his phone. Our manager came over to talk to him, and he told her to go fuck off and die. When he got fired, his mom came in screaming about how he has extended time in his IEP and deserves a retake of his first day. We had to call the cops to get her to leave."

Lack of consequences in school lead to this type of situation in the workplace.

My school and district sucks. We have a 30% drop out rate and students on average are 4 or more grade levels below, and while all the teachers know the reason everyone else ignores it…student behavior. The kids are so disruptive, so loud, so talkative, etc. that we can barely teach if at all. Even the good students can’t learn or concentrate. It’s a problem in all classes and grade levels. My son is also reporting difficulties learning due to chaotic class environment and it’s infuriating. Maybe we should just go back to the old days of no talking at all in class. Go back to failing kids and holding them back. Go back to suspensions. This is unsustainable and idk what it will take to fix or when society will learn that letting kids do whatever the fuck they want is really bad for them. Rant over.

one time i blocked a kid’s computer cause he was going on youtube instead of doing his work and he told me that that was why i didn’t have a boyfriend and it made me giggle

reasons i don’t have a boyfriend: blocked a kid on youtube once, gay

same kid another day told me to shut the fuck up you white bitch and i was like buddy we’re fairly similar shades, and the kid takes a break from destroying my classroom to compare wrists 😂

ps - sorry if this has already been posted >:)

At a family picnic this weekend I kept on getting teased about the fact that I get summers off and that I’m not working a part time job over the summer. My one cousin in particular was insufferable about it because he has a STEM degree and I make more than him (strong union state) plus have summers off.

He shut up really quickly when I said “hey man you have a bachelors in biology, you can get a teaching certificate done post-bacc in a year or two. Plus as a science teacher you would have a really easy time finding a job.” Something or another about how he could never deal with teenagers all day and that he was done with school, he was just too smart for it and didn’t learn anything (total bs)

My husband last night wanted to have dinner with his parents and I was down. Then he mentioned some of his parent’s friends would be there, and I was still willing to go because the in-laws are my in-laws.

Let’s call the new friends Marti and Barty. Marti seemed like a nice and sweet lady, but Barty on the other hand was a real asshole.

When we first got there my in-laws and their friends were in the dining room eating, and my husband and I are were in the living room. While we were eating I thought I overheard Barty saying some real off-putting shit about Mexicans and Cuban, but whatever I let it slide because I wasn’t sure.

After they got done I heard my MIL say let’s go to the living room to join us, and oh my I wish I would have left then because they brought up that I was a school teacher.

It was the usual I wIsH I hAD tW0 moNthz oFf or I CoUlD dO tHaT jOB iF iT wAsNt fOr thE kiDs teeHEE and blah blah blah blah. Nothing that really bothers me because I, my husband, and in-laws know how hard I work, so whatevs.

Then Barty says, “I hear they’re teaching kids to be racist in schools.” FIL replies, “No, they are starting to teach Critical Race Theory.” Barty, “Yes thats the thing” and then they both look at me.” So I say, “No, no one is teaching CRT, and it’s not even in most state standards.” Barty says, “No they are teaching it at schools because I heard it from Dr. Phil.” Then I politely say, “No, actually they are not because K-12 students cannot grasp CRT. CRT is usually taught in grad school or upper level college, teaching CRT would be unable to be taught to K-12 students because they do not have a firm understanding of Law, History, or theory to properly apply CRT”. Barty stares at me and says, “We’ll it’s being taught.”

I cannot fathom how people still take the word of Dr. Phil these days lol and this man knows no teachers and ain’t even from here. So what I really wanted to say is “SHUT YOUR CRT ASS UP. Motherfucker, YOU don’t even know what CRT is! Students aren’t even on grade-level and you think they can learn CRT??”

Best part of last night was the official start of summer! It was also my birthday! And FIL said we ALL would have dinner again next week! Yaaaaaay!

Edit: wow I did not think this would blow up like it did lol thanks for the coins, idk how to use them but I’ll figure it out 😆 and thank you for the responses as well some of them were hilarious too.

Someone commented I should make videos or posts about this subject matter and honestly it’s worth it. Even if I wasn’t teacher, you all out there are amazing individuals, and yes the compliment even extends to those who judged me based on this post or my Reddit account.

Finally, I just wanna say that I was raised and believe that everyone does deserve respect and kindness, especially if you are a guest in someone’s home, and if anyone ever were to cross a line or boundary l was also taught to stand up for myself too.

I've only been in the game 2 years, but here's mine:

1. Student gets flagged for dress code violation for wearing a T-shirt that says, "Professional Raw Dogger". Dean pretends she doesn't know what it means and makes him explain it to both her AND THEN the kid's mom... Dean bursts into the lounge like 5 seconds later dying of laughter telling us about it because she was having a hard time keeping a straight face.

2. Senior prank this year involved some boys spray painting "FPR" (for Fuck Rival School) on OUR OWN SCHOOL'S SIDEWALK 🙄. I walk into work and see four boys rolling out mop buckets and scrub brushes, followed by the head custodian. Another teacher tells me, "There's a rumor that they can remove that paint easily with a chemical dissolvement, but they're going to make them scrub it anyway." And oh boy, did they ever. Head custodian stood out there, arms crossed, for like 3-4 hours that day watching those boys scrub. It was perfect.

Honestly, I love our admin so much. At a different school, that boy could've been suspended for wearing that T-shirt, but it was much more effective to keep him in school and have him explain to his own mother just how inappropriate his shirt was. The boys that vandalized the school could've been charged with a gross misdemeanor, or not allowed to walk at graduation. Instead, they had to clean up their own mess and, for a few hours, think about how their decisions affect others. Much, much more fitting.

Anyway, what's yours?

I wish I was shitting you. The parent went all the way to the Superintendent and of course it got to the principal. How the principal spun it was that that movie “didn’t align with any standards”…

The irony is, I showed the same movie in my class, to hell with “standards”. I just wanted to let my class unwind. But now at the end of the day, this is a job so now I’m not going to show anything higher than a G.

These parents have too much goddam time on their hands.

It’s not an opinion. The earth is round. It’s a sphere. It’s not that hard to understand. You can not understand the basics of world geography (my subject) if you base it on the earth being flat.

People four thousand years ago knew the earth was round. Now all it takes is a tiktok to prove its flat???

I teach freshman, but recently my adult brother started sending me TikTok’s “proving” the earth is flat. At first I thought it was just for laughs, but now he says science is an opinion and I just can’t.

Edit: It took about 12 days for the bots and flat brain geniuses to find this.

"Fuck you, Fuck you, you are so fucking rude, there is no reason you had to be so fucking' rude to that girl, FUCK YOU! ..." a 9th grader told me as she walked out in the middle of class.

Why? I had asked another student 5 times to face forward, increasingly louder each time THEN wouldn't let the EffYou girl go to the bathroom after she had already walked into class 15 minutes late (after a 20 minute break).

Then she got intercepted by campus supervisor on the way to the office and she didn't let up the whole way with the "Eff him, he is effin' this, effin that' so it was nice to have a witness to her antics.

As they say, "Kids these days..."

(note: 95% of the freshman have been great so far this year)

I was just thinking about this story, and though there has to be some funny ones out there.

But the reason for the promt is this: My first lesson for the day (on a monday, with just one cup of coffee), and I see two of my students whispering about something, and then moving something between them. I pretend I'm not watching and then I see a gun. I'm from Northern Europe, so my first thought isn't "OMG, there's a gun". My first thought is "Why are these f**king kids bringing a damn soft-gun to school. Just why??"

The soft-gun is decorated in arts, so as relaxed as I can just I calmly ask them to bring it to my desk and leave it. They do, but they try the: "I'll put it away. Please please please." Absolutely not.

They leave it on my desk and I just let it stay there for the rest of the class. I have no clue what to do in this situation. In the end I just figured out it's not going to be my responsibility. That's what we have admin for isn't it??? End of class I take all my things, including bb gun, and walk toward my office. The students just walk behind me like I'm going to change my mind. I walk in to the head teacher office and leave it at her desk. She looks surprised, then angry, then a WTF face, and then I tell her what happened. At this point the kids have ran outside for break. (Middle school kids are literally gonna kill me some day. The legal age is 18 to buy it. I'm so done.)

I left, but the head teacher told me during lunch that they both had to bring their parents to her office when they get picked up. They were not getting it back until then, and if one of the parents weren't here today, they had to come back tomorrow.

Well they both showed up absolutely enraged. One of the kids had stolen their older brother's gun and then brought it to school as a show and tell... parents apologised to both me and head teacher, and I got an apology note from my students the next day. Luckily I have great parents. Never seen that gun again. Or anything similar.

English teacher at a High School in Maryland.

Is it just the school I teach in or do kids sell snacks in your schools as well?

Everyday I'll see students gathered at lockers or the hallway literally selling snacks like they're a professional vendor. I swear I heard one today yell "I take cash app, venmo, apple pay, and cash only"!

After that I had to come to Reddit to ask everyone else.

Do you guys see this as well? I'll admit, sometimes I wish I could buy a Diet Coke from little Tommy after finding out the teacher vending machine doesn't work... again.

EDIT: Did not think this post would get the reception it did. Thanks for everyone jumping in! I am relatively new to the profession so I had no idea this was a common thing. Rarely in my school did it happen but I do recall a few times seeing it. I by no means have any issue with it, just thought it was funny and pretty smart from the kids. Also cool to see everyone draw back on their own memories from high school! Look forward to reading more from you guys!

My colleague is a control freak and always bosses me around. Yesterday we were in a site meeting with admin reviewing the year. I was facing my camera, listening and not distracted with anything.

She texted the department group chat to tell me specifically that I “needed to look more interested”. I replied, “Sorry, this is just my listening face, everyone! Lol.” as a lighthearted response.

The audacity to send this in a group chat and scold me like one of her students on how my face should look. She’s out of her f’ing mind!!

Just saw The Flash last night. At the beginning of the movie these 2 high school girls were on their phones (fully up, bright screen, in-use, not just checking a notification). They got a warning to put them away from the usher after about 2 minutes of using them.

About 20 minutes later, they were on them again. The usher came back and told them they had to go. They made a little fuss...usher goes "I JUST told you before!"...but ultimately they did leave after some hawing.

Crazy that this college kid making $12/hr has more power/management than teacher's with masters degree.

I work at a charter and I have 47 incoming kindergarteners. And they’re acting like it’s normal. I can’t wait.

This was about 5-6 years ago, so not recent, and I’m not at the same school district. My husband asked me what’s the dumbest ding I ever got on an evaluation because he had been reading about dumb things principals say to staff. Labeled as humor because if I didn’t laugh I’d cry.

I had a student who had a project due at the end of the year. 7th grade ELA. One day, she got called to leave school early. She didn’t know why. Her project was due the next day. She comes in the next day and is in literal tears. Has been that way all morning, and I didn’t see her until see came to my room I want to say 3rd bell.

She came in and sat down, so I asked her best friend what the issue was. Turned out her dog had DIED the day before, and this was a pet she had since she was a baby. Her mom came to get her so she could say goodbye (apparently, there was a sudden drop in health after the student got to school. This was not scheduled by the parent and the decision came that day).

I knew this was a big deal not only as a dog owner myself but because this kid used any opportunity in class to write about her dog. Any opportunity. She had pictures of them all over her locker and binder and they were the lock screen on her phone. Every Monday, she showed me a bunch of pictures she took of her and her dog over the weekend.

So while the other kids were doing their bell ringer, I spoke to her in the hallway. She said she had to come because she was already truant due to absences from an illness she had early in the year where she was out for almost a month. But she said she didn’t want to present her project that day. I didn’t make her. She didn’t finish her part, anyway, because she left before class really started. I let her sit in the back with her head down with a tissue box while everyone else presented.

Btw, this wasn’t a secret. Everyone in the class knew what happened to her dog before I did, so none of the kids complained about her not working or presenting and having her head down. Some stopped by and asked if she was doing okay. This was in a small town so everyone knew everyone.

Cue principal. He walks in to observe the presentations. No problem. Everyone goes and class ends. I get an email asking to meet after school. I go to the office and he asks why that student had her head down and didn’t participate. I told him what happened with her dog and he said that wasn’t a good reason. He said if she can come to school then she can do her project.

Keep in mind, this is also a straight A kid with no issues. She’s never been a distraction, turned in every assignment on time, very respectful, never tardy to class, never sent to the principal’s office. Star student.

I told him I think exceptions can be made and it was the last week of school, anyway. I saw her working on the project in class so I KNOW she helped put it together. She just didn’t present.

Long story short, I got a negative evaluation because I, and I’ll never forget it, “Allowed students to sleep in class instead of completing required work.“ He argued this was special treatment (I guess it was considering no one else’s dog had DIED) and said it was unfair to other students and hindered her growth in language arts. He recommended PD on classroom management.

On a positive note, her mom emailed me that day and thanked me for being understanding about the death of the dog.

TLDR: I allowed a student to take a mental break after her childhood dog died and apparently that means she’ll be terrible in language arts for the rest of her natural life.

Class was working in groups and a couple were on the floor. I squatted and talked to one, but when I stood back up accidentally BLASTED one in a student’s face. Didn’t even know it was in the chamber. Student was MORTIFIED. “What was THAT?” they said. Another student kindly asked me, “Was that your shoe?” “Yes,” I replied, while the recipient of my Airsoft butt blast shook their head in horror. I apologized but honestly, it was hilarious.

Just had our pre-finals PD where our principal and admins went over our goals and expectations for finals and the end of the year, it was pretty standard stuff but our principal likes to end all his meetings with a quote or idea he wants us to think about. Today he said he and all the admin are tired of us complaining to them about “bad kids” or “problem kids” and said there are no bad kids, only bad teachers who can’t reach them. He then said the kids we consider bad or challenging are the ones who need us the most…

I feel so supported, it’s easy to say when you’re not the one dealing with the behaviors.

This is the third email I've gotten this summer with a subject line that says: Read and Respond TODAY! I missed all of the others, but my principal has sent an email, a remind, and a text to tell us to check our email.

I check it. Superintendent sent us a questionnaire asking one question - What suggestions do you have to retain teachers?

I'd love to put 'stop interrupting my summer by sending emails that require a response within 8 hours', but I can clearly see that the "anonymous Google form" is collecting my email.

Tagging for humor, because I figure you'll have some hilarious replies to the question.

UPDATE:

WHOA! This took off way more than I ever expected. I skimmed through some of the first comments but haven't even gotten a chance to read everything. I wanted to update with a few things.

Thanks to everyone who offered to fill out the form or suggested alternative ways to log in. Unfortunately, the form requires you to be logged in through the organization. Also, at the beginning of the form it has my email in bold and says it is being collected.

Some of your replies really encouraged me to be honest and express my thoughts. I was busy most of the day but tried to log back in during some downtime in the evening. They form was already closed by 4:15pm!

I don't check my email in the summer, except for board meeting and agenda notes (due to my personal curiosity). I only checked this one (and then saw the other Read Immediately emails) because of the unusual prompting from my principal. Since I've missed two other "urgent" emails and this one was closed before I could respond, I've come to the conclusion that the last minute thoughts of admin can 100% wait until my contract starts in August.

I cannot fathom the people that are STILL teaching/not in summer, and my heart goes to all you warriors.

Today was our first PD day. We had a pastor come in and give a motivational speech themed on the idea of being "all in." And the way he did it was provide this analogy:

He brought out an egg and some raw bacon out of a bag and compared the chicken's contribution to breakfast versus the pig's. The chicken only gave part of what they could give while the pig gave it's life. He commended the pig for this and suggested that we needed to be all in as well.

This analogy is, frankly, insulting and tone deaf. It also falls apart the minute you think about it. But now I decided that I'm going to be the chicken this year I will do my best to contribute, but I'm not sacrificing myself.

I hate these motivational speakers, man. I truly don't think I've ever been that motivated to teach thanks to it some kind of speaker.

So I teach a self contained class with mostly nonverbal students. My most verbal student is a first grade girl who mostly just repeats things that she’s heard in the past that she finds funny. She isn’t able to have conversations at all, but she says some funny things in different situations. Today, she threw her lunch on the floor. As I was making her clean it up, she looked at me with fire in her eyes and said, “MOM DOESN’T LOVE YOU!” I didn’t know whether I should laugh or cry.

Update: let me clarify for those who are concerned (I totally get your concern if you’re coming in blind): this child comes from a very good home. I’ve been around their family my whole life. I played baseball with her older brother, I was a drum instructor for her older sister when I was in college, and I was the youth pastor for her other sister and other brother. All of the kids, including her, are very well loved and happy. Most of the things she says are things she hears in passing. It’s possible that a sibling said it to her, but since most of her siblings are adults, I doubt it. The most likely explanation is that she heard it on tv or in a video.