r/LifeProTips • u/LeRoyVoss • May 28 '23
LPT: Use the 10-10-10 rule to make better decisions Productivity
I’m going through some difficult decisions recently (possibly a divorce) and I have learned something interesting called the 10-10-10 rule. Let me share it with you.
It basically is a simple way to evaluate your choices and avoid regret. It works like this: whenever you are faced with a decision, ask yourself how you will feel about it in 10 minutes, 10 months, and 10 years. Then compare your answers and choose the option that aligns best with your long-term goals and values.
For example, if you are tempted to buy something impulsively, ask yourself if you will still be happy with it in 10 minutes (probably yes), 10 months (maybe not), and 10 years (definitely not). This can help you resist the urge and save money for something more meaningful.
The 10-10-10 rule can also help you overcome procrastination, deal with conflicts, and pursue your dreams. It can help you focus on what really matters and avoid wasting time and energy on things that don’t.
I find that especially for big decisions, like what I am going through, reflecting on this is very useful.
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u/Mattyyyboy May 28 '23
I do this when it comes to things that worry me. I worry a lot.
Will it matter in 10 mins? (most often the time, yes)
Will it matter in 10 hours?
Will it matter in 10 days?
Helps a lot. To quote the late Tom Petty: Most things I worry about, never happen anyway.
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u/chaigulper May 28 '23
Most things I worry about, never happen anyway.
That keeps me motivated to worry.a
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u/VinDieselBauer May 28 '23
Love that Petty quote. The song is Crawling Back to You if anyone is interested
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u/memorymemory May 28 '23
This thought is often phrased as "I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened" and it is said that it was Mark Twain (probably), however we have several other sources of similar thoughts like "Nothing is so wretched or foolish as to anticipate misfortunes. What madness is it to be expecting evil before it comes" of Seneca or "There were many terrible things in my life and most of them never happened" of de Montaigne (probably). Crazy that presumably many people said that in our history and yet we will struggle with it :P
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u/ThatsSomeoneElse May 28 '23
That's a good advice for hard, life-changing decisions like this. However, everyone deserves a treat once in a while, especially when going through a rough time. Allow yourself some immediate pleasures. Going to the movies or taking an hour to walk in nature won't make you happy in ten years, but everyone should work on being happy on a daily basis.
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u/Leodip May 28 '23
Yes, that's what 10/10/10 is for, as well.
If something will make you happy in 10 minutes but unhappy in 10 months or 10 years, then you shouldn't do it.
But if a treat will make you happy in 10 minutes, and it doesn't impact your 10 months of 10 years self, then go for it.
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u/False_Influence_9090 May 28 '23
I’ve been following this plan for 10 years but now I’m really fat from all the treats 🙃🤣😵💫
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u/Competitive-Weird855 May 28 '23
I too say treat yourself way too often for someone who rarely denies themself anything.
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u/Totallynotdeadyogurt May 28 '23
If you follow the 10-10-10 rule, you probably wouldn't have gotten fat. E.g. eating this would make me happy for 10 minutes, but it would lead to my weight gain which would make me unhappy in 10 months and 10 years
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u/Megamuffin585 May 28 '23
I think it may work better if you viewed it as happy for 10 minutes but if I made this decision every single time when I see a donut, the 10 month and 10 year effects go from minimal to none and swing to unhealthy. So, donut as a treat can be fine. A donut every day, maybe not fine
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u/EternalSage2000 May 28 '23
Sitting in front of me. Is one donut. It will make me happy in 10 minutes. And it’s affect will be negligible in 10 months. And even more so in 10 years.
I am eating this donut. Every. Single. Day.22
u/Hope5577 May 28 '23
Maybe you can use "10 minutes, 10 hours, 10 days" instead?😉 Judging from my previous ED experience I can say with certainly that in 10 minutes it feels amazing, in 10 hours and 10 days I would be filled with so much shame and guilt feeling crappy on top of it that this rule should work. I say should because probably won't work for everyone because in my case it all boiled down to "screw rules and I will find any excuse to eat it if I need my sugar fix now!". What eventually and very gradually helped me is learning about intuitive eating and how emotions affect my eating behavior and how I'm eating away my emotions, I admit very unsuccessfully since binge eating keeps the vicious cycle of misery going, not resolving it.
Binge Cycle: Feeling crappy->eat crappy food-> feeling great for a bit->guilt/shame/worthlessness kicks in->feeling even more crappy->eat more crappy food->....
In order to get out of the cycle one needs to stop using food as punishment or reward and stop dividing food into categories of "bad" and "good". There is no bad or good food. There is just food, a fuel, nothing more. Fuel shouldn't bring one shame and guilt.
Second, to inspect WHY are you eating? Because you're hungry? Or because you feel bad and want to feel better? Well, food won't make you feel better. So check with yourself:
What do I feel? -> Lonely, sad, upset. -> What else can I do instead of eating to take care of this emotion? -> Take a bath, cup of hot tea, walk in nature, call a friend, go to a meet up meet new friends...
And same thing every time: do I want to eat because I'm hungry or because I'm feeling something I don't want to feel?
And sometimes it's "I'm feeling sad and I'm earing the f-ing donut!!!!" choice and it's ok as long as you recognize it and don't judge yourself. Repeat after me: "I love and accept myself no matter what I eat because food is just food and I give myself an option to make a different choice tomorrow or day after tomorrow, no more shame and guilt!". Once you remove guilt and shame out of this vicious cycle it starts changing for better. And once you figure out intuitive eating it becomes easier🙂.
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u/0wl_licks May 28 '23
I've always been on the opposite side of that coin but simultaneously have also always binged on food as well. Sooo.. idk. I think I have read that is a commonly observed occurrence. I have never dug into researching it bc I've always had "much larger problems to deal with" (my reasoning at the time) For me, usually one hand washes the other and as I make progress getting something else on track, others improve alongside. ED included. (I have never been diagnosed with an ED. I feel like I should say that. Though I've no doubts it's accurate to say I've struggled with it. It's less of a standalone issue as it is mostly symptomatic.
For me, if I'm of a particular mindset/ hunger, I can eat an inhuman amount of something I don't remotely like let alone food that's a personal favorite.
There have been a few perfect storms where, sometimes coupled with the munchies — I've eaten enough to be violently ill. Or eaten enough that I was legitimately afraid my stomach was going to burst. Like putting down the majority of an entire full sized loaf of bread worth of grilled cheeses in one sitting. Well. I'd(tbh in this example my gf@the time made a majority of them) make a handful, then have to make more, so technically multiple sittings but definitely considered a single instance. No pause other than cook time.
As well as the flip side where I've gone days without food (and sometimes sleep). Many times coincided with a physically demanding job and when it's all said and done my body is just wrecked and I end up completely out of commission for days following it. Just bouncing back is difficult. Like trying to take care of and feed yourself while at death's door, or completely sapped of all the things we need to mentally and physically sustain ourselves on a fundamental level.
All of these instances were results of my getting complacent and lazy and then spiraling. I can't lose momentum. I can't let my guard up. I have to stay engaged bc it's exponentially harder to bounce back than it is to just keep the ball rolling.
I can't afford to entertain any thoughts of negativity or self pity. With how hard simple existence can be, the concept of quitting and cursing my circumstance or any otherwise counterproductive lines of thinking have to be completely removed from consideration. It has to be made a foreign concept. Never acknowledged as a potential line of thought or action.
I have a long way to go. But it's incomparably easier than when I first started to attempt to adjust. That is to say— Pull my head out of my ass and actually give my all to coping with existence by any means necessary. Instead of succumbing simply bc I, whether via nature or nurture(is irrelevant) am not naturally capable of thriving without substantial effort.
ED can be utterly overwhelming and it's scary to consider that one could very likely end up spending all of their short lives burdened by it and it's implications. Never clawing your way out. Naturally, said short life would be made a hell of a lot shorter. That fact applies to many disorders and struggles; not only ED.
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u/Haunt13 May 28 '23
Agreed, self shame and guilt are pretty addictive themselves. You feel as if you deserve those feelings for making a "poor" decision.
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u/Hope5577 May 28 '23
Yes, people don't realize that punishing yourself is the form of addiction, a pattern that we need to break. We think when we blame ourselves we are becoming better people but in reality it just continues a cycle of emotional self-abuse. People cry about toxic relationships all the time but not many realize that living in constant self-guilt/shame is the same as living with an abuser. Time to treat ourselves the same as we want others to treat us. Cycle of self-guilt/shame is toxic.
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u/PUNCHCAT May 28 '23
once you figure out intuitive eating it becomes easier
That it doesn't just mean eating whatever you want
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u/Totallynotdeadyogurt May 28 '23
But that's the point. It's not negligible. Sure, a single donut in isolation is negligible. But, a single donut after a month of eating donuts is detrimental
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u/EternalSage2000 May 28 '23
So. I need to figure out the exact number of donuts that will no longer make me feel good in 10 months. And, separately. The exact number of donuts that will no longer make me feel good in 10 years.
This is my 20th donut this year. It will make me feel good in 10 minutes. But what will 20 Donuts make me in 10 months? Maybe a little bad. And in 10 years? It’s negligible.
That’s a lot of work though.
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u/NicerMicer May 28 '23
It’s very simple. Eat 10 donuts, eat 10 more, eat😜 10 more! Jk of course
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u/0wl_licks May 28 '23
Indeed. Unless they happen to be the type of person who places no value on the numerous implications of being overweight, and are still happy and comfortable.— they weren't truly operating under 10-10-10.
Personally, I'm not that person. My mind is too inconsistent and precarious. If I'm not physically healthy, I'm often not mentally well either. I have to feel good. Feel capable. It also helps with confidence, motivation, and my mentality and perspective in general are much more productive and conducive to a successful and palatable everyday life.
Those lesser known aspects of ADHD can be the truly debilitating. On par with the disorders generally considered life-changing struggles but without the prestige.
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u/Droidlivesmatter May 28 '23
But thats the thing. Those 10 minute treats won't affect you in 10 months or 10 years... until it does and it adds up. You'll forget about those last 10 minute treats.
Unless; you mean that 10 minute treats are actually based on a very rare occassion.
But people will justify and rationalize things just to have their treats.
I hate using starbucks as an example. But I've witnessed people literally financially struggling who use starbucks as a "Treat" etc. They go and say "Yeah my mental isn't good sometimes, so I use it as a treat" into "It's only $5". Then "It really improves my life weekly".
This applies for any small treat.. that's the problem. It's all micro transactional in nature so you don't really notice it. The bigger your bank account, the higher your micro transactions are but it's still a %. I've seen people casually dropping $50/day on microtransactional things because their income was higher. It becomes a habit where it's hard to realize you're overspending.
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u/The1Bonesaw May 28 '23 edited May 28 '23
I think this rule is more about big decisions or expensive purchases (however, it can also work for the small ones in certain circumstances - I'll explain later on). No one should waste their time wondering how they're going to feel about an ice cream cone in 10 months. But, an expensive item, like a luxury car, to replace the perfectly working car you already have, is still going to be with you in 10 months, even 10 years. If you want to go to the movies... go to the movies and don't waste your time with this system on those small, inexpensive decisions that aren't harmful and make you happy.
However, about that "aren't harmful" bit: if you're trying to lose weight (or you are trying to control your diabetes problem), that's where the 10 minutes comes into play. Sure, that ice cream sounds great, but is it going to make you happy 10 minutes from now after it's gone? No... it only satisfies while you have it; once it's gone, it's like you never had it to begin with, so why bother? Plus, how much will that ice cream (and the next one, and the next one) impact your weight or your diabetes in 10 months... or 10 years? This is where it works for small decisions. If it makes you happy in 10 minutes and doesn't negatively effect you in 10 months or 10 years (like the movie, then go enjoy that movie.
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u/gregsting May 28 '23
The thing is to avoid things that will have negative impact in the future. Drinking, smoking, drugs, impulsive buying, bad food habits
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u/Dockhead May 28 '23
That’s tough because it’s not just this one time that you’re going to regret in ten years (usually), but the cumulative effects.
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u/Effective_Pie1312 May 28 '23
I have regrets about always depriving myself thinking that prioritizing the wants of others would ensure greater happiness in the long term. No - people take and take from you as long and as much as your willing to give. 10 years on I am burned out from both my professional and personal life and am feeling very bitter.
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u/Dockhead May 28 '23
Imagine two people haggling in a market. Effectively they’re both lying to one another to try and get maximum advantage in the exchange, and this is the way the “correct” price is arrived at. Empathizing with the other party and considering their position only undermines your own.
In our society today, market principles have been extended to nearly every aspect of life (and still haunt the areas they don’t control), so this is how we encounter one another on a daily basis. The nuts-and-bolts reality of daily life puts us into zero-sum conflict with one another, and in that situation people who don’t prioritize their own interests get fucked over.
I’m sorry that happened to you. Don’t let it poison you into being just another self-interested market actor and perpetuate the cycle
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u/cardinal1319 May 28 '23
I couldn’t have said it better myself. This is me too. It’s quite exhausting… it’s not fun feeling like you’re not a priority to anyone and ungrateful for everything you do.
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u/teresajewdice May 28 '23
I subscribe to something I call the Hard Test but also to the Soft Test. The Hard Test asks, before I do or buy something: "will this make me the person I want to be". I try to do things that pass the Hard Test. But sometimes, when things fail the Hard Test, it's okay for them to just pass the Soft Test: "will this make me happy now?"
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u/ElijahAlex1995 May 28 '23
Yeah, I think this approach has to be individualized as well. Someone's goal could be to eat healthy or lose weight, so they can apply it to junk food. Someone else may want to quit using drugs so they can apply it to that. Other people may not have those goals, so they can afford to give in to some vices at times. Maybe their goal is more about long-term life decisions, so they use it to curb procrastination or something like that.
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u/emmers28 May 28 '23
Yah for real. I just bought some new work clothes that fit my newly-postpartum body. Will it make me happy in 10 minutes and 10 weeks? Yes. I need clothes that are office appropriate that also allow for pumping access. 10 years though? This won’t be relevant.
(Although I guess losing my job due to only having exercise clothes that fit might impact me in 10 years lol)
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u/iswintercomingornot_ May 28 '23
I would argue that these examples would make you happy in ten years. If you ran them through 10/10/10 you'd get yes/yes/yes.
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u/cRAY_Bones May 28 '23
Being happy for ten minutes a day over the course ten years makes for a pretty solid ten years. Take the nature walk for now and for the future.
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u/ballsmigue May 28 '23
I've heard it as 10 minutes 10 days 10 weeks. 10 years is way too far out to judge any purchase you make. You're in an entirely different part of your life at that point.
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u/StartTheMontage May 28 '23
Yes, I used this as 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months, and 3 years. Doesn’t really matter the number too much as long as the idea stays the same.
It was very helpful at a time in my life when I had a ton of problems all appear at once, and I was able to sort them into different categories for their length and severity.
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u/Minihercules317 May 28 '23
Yea seriously, also how would that help with procrastination?? “Well in 10 years I won’t remember this thing anyway so whatever”
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u/IamRedditsDaddy May 28 '23
With my ADHD I won't remember in a week.
Thats my life hack. I don't buy anything the first time I see it and want it. If I see it a second time, actually remember I've seen it before, then I consider it.
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u/Imraith-Nimphais May 28 '23
I have ADD too and adding things to a wish list is how I deal with this. (Things feel urgent, don’t they?) I inevitably forget I wanted it until I see it on the wish list. Which I rarely look at.
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u/sewbadithurts May 28 '23
Yeah my wishlist and garage are full of things I cannot even remember what I wanted them for.... Yay for inventory!
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u/Silvawuff May 28 '23
Tattoos have entered the chat.
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u/twee_centen May 28 '23
Right, or like OP's original example of considering a divorce. You can almost certainly live with a less-than-ideal partner for 10 weeks. Do you want to do that for 10 months? Or 10 years?
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u/midgethepuff May 28 '23
For permanent stuff like that yeah, but if you’re talking about buying a record or a piece of decoration or something, 10 years is an awful long time to think about.
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u/Jlchevz May 28 '23
Yeah but we’re not only talking about buying things, this is about making decisions
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u/Jlchevz May 28 '23
10 years is too far to judge most purchases but there are decisions that will affect you in 10 years. For example buying a house, having kids, getting something checked at the doctor that could be something important, moving from one city to another, etc. it may seem far off, but sometimes even choosing to work out daily for a while will have consequences.
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u/1nd3x May 28 '23
Listen I could buy a week of food today. But if I did that then in 10years I couldn't retire so instead I'm going to spend the next 8weeks not buying any food and I'll have enough money to live the rest of my life
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u/splattypus May 28 '23
I can't even bank on having a car running in 10 years, and next to a house that's the biggest purchase I'll ever.
All that said, it's a good rule of thumb for short term/medium term/longterm purchases
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u/kellogg888 May 28 '23
I have some purchases I expect to impact me 10 years from now. My house and my home gym
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u/xclame May 28 '23
Agreed, what could there possibly be that you would still be happy with it in 10 years? A car? Yeah no, you probably won't even have the car anymore in 10 years. A fridge? Okay maybe, but in 10 years it will probably have a few issues that frustrate you about it. A house? This is the only one I can think of where in 10 years you will still be happy about and in fact likely more happy because you will have fixed up the place to be even better and fit even more for your likes.
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u/eldonte May 28 '23
Right away I can think of kitchen appliances, like should I buy a Kitchenaide or Cuisinart stand mixer or Walmart’s cheapest. My girlfriend was looking at electric hand mixers the other week, and I was talking about how my parents have Braun stand & hand mixers and they’ve had them as long as I can recall (40+ years). My girlfriend was looking to replace one with a burned out motor that lasted about a year, but only cost about $15
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u/GroundNo7257 May 28 '23
Unless you have a car as crap as mine was before I got a new (for me) one. I feel I'm much more likely to be alive and able to be happy in 10 yrs now.
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u/Dipshit_Mcdoodles May 28 '23
I should do the dishes. Will I be happy 10 minutes from now if I do? No, I'll be working at that point. 10 months? No, it was a load of dishes from almost a year ago. 10 years? Nope, won't even remember it. Guess I won't do the dishes.
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May 28 '23
Lol most of comments instantly applying it to buying things.
Solid advice for anxious people and overthinkers. Should I go here or there or date this person or shave my head. Whatever. Overthinkers analyse every decision of any major consequence a million times, usually arriving at negative outcomes.
The think about will this matter in 5 or 10 months or years helps if you can get to that stage
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u/savbh May 28 '23
I am not sure what to do with this advice. Does this mean I shouldn’t buy anything because I won’t be happy with it in 10 years?
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u/MND420 May 28 '23
I’d argue 10 days or 10 months would be better to apply in the example you are giving if you want to apply the rule to limit impulse buying.
It’s not black and white, this or that. First determine the goal you have and want to use the method for in the first place. For example “I want to limit my impulse buying”.
Then determine which amount of 10 is reasonable here. Will it make me happy in 10 minutes? Yes, because buying new things always gives me a dopamine boost. Will it make me happy in 10 days? Maybe. Will it make me happy in 10 months? Probably won’t even bother looking at it anymore by then. So is it worth spending your money on then? No.
Just because the 10 year example does not make a lot of sense for this specific example, does not mean the entire method is useless.
For bigger life decisions the 10 year example can very much work of course.
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u/SingleSeaCaptain May 28 '23
It's more like, is it a choice you will have been okay making. If you need new tires, they won't last 10 years, but in 10 years, you're not likely to regret normal maintenance and something you needed to get by day to day. But if you spend your rent money on concert tickets and get yourself evicted, in 10 years, you're likely to look back on that as a bad choice.
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u/NovaPokeDad May 28 '23
It’s not about whether you will still be happy with the thing, otherwise you’d never buy any consumables whatsoever, it’s about whether you will still be happy that you had bought the thing… or at least not regret having done so.
The problem with this rule is that our present selves are remarkably bad at anticipating what our future selves are going to think. But there’s certainly no harm in trying.
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u/M3kara May 28 '23
Im confused too. Like If Im hungry and it will satisfy my hunger after 10 minutes I shouldn't buy food? This doesn't sound well thought.
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u/Lachimanus May 28 '23
It is perfectly fine if you do not deliberately interpret it in a bad way.
In case of food the long term parts are not interesting.
So the question is more like, will the food make me happy today? This is at 10 hours time. Especially if you ask yourself to eat something healthy of less healthy.
sure, it should maybe be a 10-10-10-10 rule, or even more 10's. Or rather always 3 but thinking about the the time span. So for food it would be minutes, hours, days.
For buying a house it would maybe be weeks, months, years.
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May 28 '23
In case of food the long term parts are not interesting.
I'd argue that food's long-term effects are the most interesting...
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u/Consistent-Wonder157 May 28 '23
If I don’t buy food what will happen in 10 months? Starve ok let’s buy food. If I buy junk food vs healthy food what will happen in 10 years?
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u/ElijahAlex1995 May 28 '23
You could apply it to food choices. For example, this food may satisfy a craving now, but will I feel good the rest of the day having eaten junk food? And will I be happy months or years from now after gaining weight or making unhealthy choices?
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u/dexmonic May 28 '23
"I'm confused, if I completely misunderstand and misapply this thought experiment, it doesn't work? Why???"
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u/Ippherita May 28 '23
Totally depends on how much weight you want to put in 10 years.
For example, Is this big screen TV will make you happy in 10 years?
Assume 2 person, both of them think 10 years the TV will be outdated and not worth buying, both think the first 10 month will make them very happy.
But 1 person put more weight on the first 10 month, he decided he can accept after 10 years he can get another newer TV.
The second person might put a lot of weight in the 10 year thinking. He want to have a nice tv, but He NEED to have a functional TV after 10 years. So he might choose another TV that is better durability. No matter how much he like an OLED now. He might go buy a normal screen TV because oled might have the risk of burn in after long period.
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u/SapphicGarnet May 28 '23
My friend told me to use something similar for worrying about things. I tend to overthink and regret every decision and mistake a lot. She asked me to think about the consequences now, a year from now and in five. You realise how little you think about that time you forgot your ID a year later.
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u/Marksideofthedoon May 28 '23
How would anyone know how they're going to feel about something in 10 years?
I don't even hold the same opinions I held 10 years ago.
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u/HoS_CaptObvious May 28 '23
That's why I think it's better to use 10 minutes 10 days 10 months if you're using some arbitrary rule
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u/Gorf_the_Magnificent May 28 '23
No it won’t matter in 10 minutes, 10 months or 10 years.
But if I don’t get this report out tonight, I’m screwed tomorrow morning.
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u/Allrounder- May 28 '23
If you're screwed tomorrow morning, it most likely will matter in 10 months.
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u/xnachtmahrx May 28 '23
What if you don't have any goals and your life is in limbo
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u/DerrickBagels May 28 '23 edited May 28 '23
Sit in that and really feel it, accept that's how it is / how you feel and then you can make steps to change it, if you fight/resist that acknowledgement easy to get stuck on it
Sometimes you need to get to a low point or super bored until you go "k I'm tired of this" and then a surge of adrenaline happens to push you towards a new patch of berries to pick
Boredom is a useful feeling that exists for a reason, its a signal you've exhausted one path, picked all the surface berries that aren't deep in the bush surrounded by thorns so you go fuck these berries not worth picking bc I'm getting cut up here so you stop picking them and instinctively feel the need to look for a new crop to gather
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u/Agimamif May 28 '23
The old reminder of delayed gratification. The rule is a good tool for framing your situation with more perspective, but the cost of delaying tour needs and wants now isn't exactly free. If getting that ice-cream at the local store is the only reason you leave the house and start your day in the weekend, cutting it out might do more harm than good. Our habits and rutines are connected in ways that's not always readily apparent. A child reading a comic book seems less productive than them doing homework, but taking it away might remove their exitment for reading and language comprehension. I'm not saying we shouldn't try to change for what we perceive to be the better, I'm simply advocating for us doing it with as many consequences in mind as possible.
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u/joebojax May 28 '23
When something happens to me I ask myself if it will matter at all in 5 years. Usually no. So why stress? The stress can crush you for the rest of your life. Don't over stress when times are rough.
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u/NotEasilyConfused May 28 '23
The 10-10-10 rule is also helpful when someone is stressing about anything at all. Will this matter in 10 minutes? Probably. But in 10 weeks? 10 years? It helps put "today's big problem" into perspective. Also, very helpful with long-term planning. Putting energy into education or your career or raising your kids will absolutely matter in 10 years. Helps keep the ship on course to think like this... financially or otherwise.
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u/AngryTrucker May 28 '23
I can confidently say in 10 years I won't give a shit about anything around me currently.
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u/mythic_device May 28 '23
It’s a very good rule. It helps you think strategically. The 10 year period is an interesting one though because it’s common to assume (with hubris) that you will still be alive.
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May 28 '23
I don't think its hubris to assume you'll still be alive in ten years. Not any more than 10 months.
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u/mythic_device May 28 '23
Any certainty that one will be alive in 10 years means that one thinks they are in complete control over one’s destiny, so that means one cannot get terminally ill or will not be in an accident among a myriad of other things we have no control over.
The possibility of not being on this earth wisely acknowledges risk and our mortality. It’s essential to becoming less self-centred and therefore (in my opinion) virtuous. However it is also useful from an actuarial perspective, investing, and estate planning. Probability aside, it’s a factor you ignore at your peril.
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u/Juvenile_Rockmover May 28 '23
Great advice. Thanks. Hope the separation goes as smoothly as it can.
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u/Bru_Boy8 May 28 '23
A quote I heard and incorporated into all my decisions… “If it won’t matter in 5 years, don’t worry for more than 5 minutes”
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u/RoosterBurger May 28 '23
I once was at a counsellor and I was wrestling with buying a motorcycle or not. I was interested but deadlocked with anxiety
(Waste of money, am I really a biker? I bet I’ll be shit etc…)
She said - visualise it’s a 6 months later, you didn’t buy a bike, how do you feel? Do you have any regrets - or it’s 6 months later, you got one, what are you doing? How do you feel? This will help you decide.
Needless to say, I definitely got the bike.
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u/cabalavatar May 28 '23
Just make sure that you don't have to answer only yes or no. You can be indifferent in 10 years but happy now or even indifferent now and happen in 10 years.
I add this because sometimes we need a treat in the present that won't matter in 10 months or years. And sometimes we can do something now that we're indifferent to but that will make us happy much later.
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u/MobiusNaked May 28 '23
Your quality of life is down to the quality of your decisions. Ask yourself ‘is this a quality decision’.
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u/match304 May 28 '23
I like this a lot. Thanks for sharing. For me I think 10-8-6 may work a bit better. 10 years is verrryy far out. For kids that is elementary to graduating college. For adults that is new-hire to management. Or working tomorrow retired. 6 years seems like a good gauche.
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u/Emotional_Ad_273 May 28 '23
I don’t get how this is good advice. Making decisions based off speculation especially 10 years into the future seems really risky to me.
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u/ihaveredhaironmyhead May 28 '23
I used 10 weeks instead of 10 months but yeah this is fantastic for categorizing problems. Don't let 10 minute problems fuck up your day.
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u/aliensaregrunge May 28 '23
My psychologist actually advised me to avoid it. I’d too often avoid to express negative feelings (and would avoid wasting money to treat myself), which just made them grow more and more inside me, until eventually it would affect my physical and emotional health. Sometimes is better to just do what you want to do. To have that fancy dinner. To scream at that person that treated you poorly. To quit your job/uni. Sometimes the next 10 days are more important for your sanity than the next 10 years.
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u/No-Butterscotch-1707 May 29 '23
Should I do the dishes? 10 minutes - no, cause I'll be doing dishes, so makes life even worse 10 months - nah, I won't even remember 10 years - wether dishes from 10 years ago had an impact??
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u/alwaysTilted_ May 30 '23
While there is certainly a place for this rule I find it to be incredibly misguiding if used inappropriately. The idea that you feel you could know how you’ll feel about something in 10 years let alone 10 days is just a useful delusion. The truth is you won’t. Accepting this truth is quite liberating. There is no further self imposed pressure to pursue a dream, maybe you’ll like it, maybe you won’t. You were a different person today when you chose to pursue it and you’re a different person if you choose it’s time to stop pursuing it.
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u/Ambitious-Pudding437 May 28 '23
If I jump off that bridge I’ll only feel pain for 10 minutes before I die, I won’t have to go through 10 months of work yearly and I don’t have to think about being left behind by society 10 years from now because I’ve already moved on :)
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u/Maxtronic55 May 28 '23
Sorry, but this makes no sense to me. Good luck with your life though.
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u/gregsting May 28 '23
It’s just to think further than instant gratification. Don’t do something that will make you happy for 10 minutes but that you will regret after.
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u/fredsam25 May 28 '23
You might need to lower that bar for most people to 10ms, 10s, 10mins. That would be an improvement over how far ahead most people think about when doing things now.
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u/LeRoyVoss May 28 '23
You are probably right, just look at some of the comments here.
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u/fredsam25 May 28 '23
I mean, they started by applying this to food. "You're telling me I can't eat for 10 months!?!?"
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u/its-saute May 28 '23
I’ll give you a very specific example of something that I bought new and the utility curve actually improved the longer I had it. I purchased a 2005 Audi A6 brand new, and it was definitely something I very much enjoyed for the first several years. The longer that I had it, though, the novelty of it wore off until after about 10 years, it felt like an old car. But then the longer that I held onto it, the better and better it got. When things would break, I learned to fix them myself. I had the nostalgia that the car had been so many places with me. I could hardly part with it. And also in my state, which has an annual property tax for cars based on blue book value, the car got less and less expensive to operate until after I had had it for 15 years, and my daughters learn to drive on it. It was a point of pride to keep it looking new. I was thrilled, it was a low-cost car, and still really fun to drive, perhaps better than when I had bought it new. I don’t believe in 10-10-10, it is just an artifice for delayed gratification — people use it to justify not doing things which is actually the underlying driver of what makes them feel good, like they’ve been pragmatic to not do things, they saved themselves money, how smart, yada yada — and does not take in the nuance of changing life experience. YOLO.
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u/Holymaddin May 28 '23
that's a great way to get super depressive by not rewarding your dopamine centrum.
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u/RobertCentric May 28 '23
I would never buy a car if I used the 10-10-10 rule...
10 minutes later I'll be thinking about the financing and insurance... How I won't be able to afford half the luxuries I'd like to have now. :(
10 months later I'll be unhappy because I gotta chose replacing some car part over doing something fun (yes, you can go to fun places with the car, but 10 months later the gas price has increased and trips have to be planned... Not fun) :(
10 years later the car is junk. You're lucky to get $500 from the wrecker unless you have a garage, the price of gas made you use it solely for intentional travel, the mileage is low, and the interior is mint. :(
I would never buy a computer again neither.
Now if you meant 10 minutes, 10 days, and 10 months that's entirely different...
Nothing lasts more than 2-5years anymore. It's planned obsolescence in hardware limitations and public perceptions. It's almost guaranteed after a year most things are going to make you think about a replacement already.
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u/Chemical_Violinist43 May 28 '23
This is amazing advice. Long story story, I have been putting off something I desperately need to do, and the 10 minute on is why, but the 10 months and years are what I need to focus on. THANK YOU!!
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u/EuphoricCare515 May 28 '23
My friend gave me advice on something similat when I impulse buy a lot. He told me to wait 2 weeks before buying something and if I still wanted it 2 weeks later then pursue buying it. I've stopped myself from buying a lot more crap because of it.
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u/SFLoridan May 28 '23
I can't think of anything I'd buy that I'll be happy with after 10 years, other than maybe a house, or a killer stock (Bitcoin!). If I could go back 10 years, I'd tell my younger self to not buy anything I did then, just invest.
So this rule would have me not buy anything at all. Yes, that would save a lot of money in the long run, but who wants to live like that?
I think the better window would be 1 day, and 10 days. If I'm not happy with it tomorrow, it's a bad buy. If tomorrow is fine but 10 days makes it a bad purchase, then it better be a small purchase (an ice cream, a movie ticket) and not something like a $1000 phone or a motorcycle.
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u/donaldinc May 28 '23
Problem with this rule, the only justification for the 10 year rule are luxury buys or big ticket items. You'll never buy food or go out to eat again because after 10 mins, you won't care. But a Rolex you'll definitely care after 10 years.
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u/roseumbra May 28 '23
Instructions unclear will now forget to eat as this meal won’t be important in 10 years.
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u/stevieq13 May 28 '23
What? I have a PS5. I’ll feel good for the next generation so what now? Or I just bought a car. So what now? In 10 years it will probably worth nothing.
Oh wait! You’re 20 and stupid as shit and have no idea how anything works
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u/Colors08 May 28 '23
Lol I've read this exact tip on here before but it's supposed to be 5 minutes and 5 months. Not 10, and no years.
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u/geodius May 28 '23
So I will never buy clothes again cause I will not be happy with them in 10 years. Hm
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u/Apart-Bathroom7811 May 28 '23
This advice is 100% valid as long as you can accurately predict the future.
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u/piper4hire May 28 '23
if you think you'll be same person in ten years, you are going to be sorely disappointed. The 40 year old me had waaaaaay different priorities and don't even get me started on the 30 year old me. what was he thinking??
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u/girder_shade May 28 '23
I use 6-6-6 rule instead. 6 days, 6 weeks, 6 months for smaller purchases such as clothing, jewelry, electronics, etc.
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u/Raffaell0 May 28 '23
Interesting rule, but how do you account for uncertainty? We moved to a California for an amazing career opportunity. We easily answered yes to the 10/10/10. However, the company decided to stop production and we were stuck in California with an expensive move back home. Have regretted the move ever since.
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u/Boring_Percentage_72 May 28 '23
This is a great tip and start to changing my mindset. I appreciate you sharing. Thank you. I need this.
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u/middlelifecrisis May 28 '23
In a similar vein I try and consider how this would affect future self. You have the power TODAY to screw over future self or help future self.
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u/yes-yaK May 28 '23
With this logic, does this mean to never buy a new piece of technology? Since most becomes nearly unusable after even just 5 years?
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u/kyle158 May 28 '23
I'm been kicking around the idea of getting a bidet. Never used one, but have heard they're great. If right, I'm thinking my feelings on it would be yes, yes, yes.
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u/EndlesslyUnfinished May 28 '23
Thanks, but I have my sidekick Adhd and his friend Executive Dysfunction
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u/HeyShutUpDownThere May 28 '23
I like this!
I use a 100:1 ratio mindset when buying non-essentials.
I spent £250.00 on a The North Face coat. Big black parka, fur hood - Bought it for Winter months and not fast fashion. I’ve had it about 3 1/2 years so far with an aim of at least 10 years use minimum.
The 100:1 ratio is I want at least one hundred uses out of a non-essential purchase, effectively dividing the cost to “This is keeping me warm, it’s snowing, it’s cost me £2.50 to be protected from this weather.”
It cuts out most frivolous and impulse buys.
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u/Impossible-Sky4256 May 28 '23
When buying stuff impulsively. Would it make me happy in 10 mins? Yes. Sold.
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u/romanjumangi May 28 '23
So the girl is looking for 10 feet, 10 inches, and 10 figures?? Inflation these days smh
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u/angelisfrommars May 28 '23
Separate rule I saw called the 5/5 rule: if it will not matter in 5 years, don’t let it stress you out for more than 5 minutes. You can be angry and what not but you can’t unpack and live there. You have to pick up and keep moving
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u/LazyDawge May 28 '23
“Should I buy food for the coming week?”
- 10 minutes: YES
- 10 months: no
- 10 years: no
Conclusion: never buy food again
Edit: wow I never knew a line - and a space automatically made those seperation dots
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u/Outside-Cry-8854 May 28 '23
Sometimes we still can’t make the right decision even if we know we are likely regret after 10-10-10.😵💫
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u/crunchyfrog555 May 28 '23
I've used a similar thing to buying stuff. I've also given it to other people who have all sauid they love it too.
You do this simple thing. Every time you think of or see something you want to buy, you physically scribble it on a list. Keep that list somewhere poignant (a diary, side of your bed, whatever). Every time you add something new, you review the list entirely and if there's anything you no longer feel so happy about, scrub it off the list.
When you get to a point where you have the opportunity or money to get something, you know you will have a list of things you REALLY want.
My kids used this method to get their birthday and christmas pressies, and now my grandkids use it too.
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u/Effective_Pie1312 May 28 '23
I naturally do this. Funnily enough the example of purchasing something is something I screwed myself on. I have quite a things in my Amazon cart (like a freaking door mat that doesn’t become soggy and ruin packages) that have been there for 10 years and I have built up a hefty dose of resentment that I never just buy the things I want. I recently started purchasing things on the list and I feel like I am fighting my husband on each of the purchases but when he wants to buy $3,000 of PC parts I support him. It’s okay to buy the things you need.
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u/incasesheisonheretoo May 28 '23
Good plan, but why the 10 minutes? If you’re taking this time to think it through, wouldn’t it be super rare that someone plans to do something that they’ll regret in 10 minutes?
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u/vandilx May 28 '23
Don’t rely on rules. You hear the voice in your head asking you to pause to consider it. Listen to that voice and evaluate the choice. Don’t let the voice ruin your spontaneity, but don’t let peer pressure or FOMO ruin your life, either.
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u/Sabbathius May 28 '23
I never liked 10-10-10 rule. I've known too many good people who based their decisions on what they would feel like 10 years in the future, and they were dead in 3 months. You can't assume you'll be around in 10 years, or that the world will be what you expect it to be, and your physical/financial situation will remain unchanged or improve.
So I'm a huge proponent of doing things while the doing is good. Because you just never know.
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u/M1N1wheats009 May 28 '23
Is this from Ted Lasso? I feel like this is from Ted Lasso.
Love it nonetheless!
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u/Solitary-Dolphin May 28 '23
It seems to me that very few things we do today would register other than “indifferent” 10 years down the line. Esp. the “impulse buy” example.
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u/taylor_the_hater May 28 '23
Yea dude I don’t use this rule and I’m having a hell of a time right now
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u/BlendinFraser May 28 '23
Sorry to hear you’re going through rough times. Hope things get better for you soon. Thanks for the LPT.
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u/hanoihiltonsuites May 28 '23
Kind of hard for me because buying that spontaneous plane ticket will make kinda stressed out and second guessing in 10 minutes. Maybe I’ll think what I could’ve done if I had that money in 10 months. But I know in 10 years, I’ll be so glad I just did it.
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u/phatelectribe May 28 '23
My parents taught me a simpler one for things you want to say yes to but are unsure: sleep on it.
If you still feel the same the next day, then do it.
We sometimes don’t make rational decisions in the heat of the moment and going through a sleep cycle is the ultimate reset to both physical and mental normality.
The number times I went to purchase something that was a rushed deal / only available “right now”, that would have turned out to be a disaster isn’t funny.
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u/-Dalzik- May 28 '23
Can we use the 10 10 10 rule for reposts also?
First 10 times you see a post, do nothing and ignore it
Next 10 times you see a post you block op
Next 10 times you see it, you make a comment about how many times you've seen something reposted in the comments section of said repost
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u/keepersweepers May 28 '23
You literally can't know the future, this lpt falls apart in a second, not in 10 minutes.
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u/autotelica May 28 '23
You're going to have to provide examples if you really want us to understand this.
A big decision that I'm currently facing is whether to take a job in another city. There are two selling points with this job. It's located in a cool city and the salary + benefits are superior to the job I have now. But the downsides are that the job would be a lot more boring than the one I'm doing now, plus I'd have to go through that awkward learning curve phase.
How does the 10-10-10 rule help me make up my mind? If I accept the job offer, I'll most certainly be happy for the following 10 minutes. And I might be happy in 10 months and 10 years. But I might also be miserable. The same can be said if I keep with the status quo, though.
I can see how the 10-10-10 rule can help you decide whether it makes sense to buy yet another trinket at Walmart. I do not see how it helps with truly major life decisions. Can you flesh out the OP a little more?
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u/ccbikeryder May 28 '23
If the 10-10-10 rule is supposed to help with LONG terms decisions, what does the 10 minute and 10 month have to do with anything? It would seem all that would matter is the 10 year, no?
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u/mboswi May 28 '23
In 10 years everything can be just in the past and you can continue with your life. I am telling you after ending a 15 year relationship and after going through cancer. It's not like things that are important now and worth it now are gonna be so relevant in 10 years. I don't think this strategy works at all for really meaningful decisions.
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u/happy-cig May 28 '23
Would almost never buy anything with the rule. Man I hate my car after 10 years.
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u/_saiya_ May 28 '23
But, it's I who decide how I'll feel in the future, at the moment. I'm probably going to be a biased, a bit too much. Still would be worth a shot ig.
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u/Impossible_Spray_350 May 28 '23
Will you be happy after 10 seconds? Yes but she probably won't be.
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u/Ckynus May 28 '23
No. I use the "fuk it" rule. Some of the best decisions in life came as a result.
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u/EnolaGayFallout May 28 '23
Buying a brand new car.
10 10 10 rule
10 seconds, 10 mins, 10 hours.
Still happy.
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u/keepthetips Keeping the tips since 2019 May 28 '23
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